BPD friend hasn't contacted me yet

[amy798]

Hi, I am kinda confused here as to what I should do. My BPD friend left the country for some work and told me that he won't be able to be in touch for two-three days but will keep me updated soon. It's been almost a week he hasn't contacted me yet (he usually contacts me on Viber, even though he is active there, he still hasn't contacted me). I am giving him his space and not initiating contact, but my question is, is he waiting for me to ask him how he is doing, like some kind of test to see if I care or is he just simply occupied with work?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Surnia]

Its very difficult to say if this could be a test or not, amy.

Actions speaks louder than words however, when he is active on Viber and not contacting you. 

How do you feel about his silence?

[Stalwart]

Game or not, if you're concerned why wouldn't you contact him? That's what friends do when they're concerned about someone.

Not too certain about the harm it could do, but I can recognize the good it could do.

Fact is, you won't know unless you followup on your concern and contact him.

Hope everything works out for you.

[amy798]

Thanks a lot for your replies guys. I sent him a message on viber on the 9th of this month (he wasn't active from the 6th til the 10th) saying that i was waiting to know how he was doing and also said that I missed his presence. He replied the next day and told me that he missed me too and that he is occupied with few things and he needs my help in many things after he comes back and asked me to keep him on a leash. . I just feel like he needs space when he is working which is why he doesn't contact me much like he does when he isn't. Maybe I think a bit too much!

[Stalwart]

Hey amy so glad to hear that everything is well with you and your friend.

Yup! I think some times we all go through so much that we, like them, sometimes overthink an issue to death and it seems when we weigh in with all our own fears a paranoias about "what ifs" that the overthinking can be so harmful if not just energy draining.

Hey, you don't have to have a BPD friend or spouse for that same issue to arise in any relationship or acquaintence.

I guess we overthink just because we care so much and want so much for the other person and hey, for ourselves as well.

So glad it all worked out and I bet you'll be happy when he returns.

I'll wager he was quite happy to know you were thinking about him, missed him and that you contacted him to say that.

Good for you.