ABSOLUTELY no contact?

[barbwire911]

Hi there

I am just curious... . my relationship was for 9 months over and over (break up and get back together, etc. constantly, blame games, emotional abuse, mind games, speaking opposites, silent treatment for days if any issues arose, etc.) and this time, my BPD has gone completely silent and actually avoids me and is starting this crazy smear campaign at work turning the tables trying to convince people as if I am the crazy one.  Has anyone's BPD stuck to NC like this but still had the crazy making and drama techniques going on?

I always thought they hate NC and act out... .

[Popcorn71]

When this happened to me it was because he had a replacement.

All previous breakups were short and he contacted me wanting me to take him back.  This final time, he didn't and that was because I later found out he was too busy with the new woman.

Maybe this is the reason why you haven't been contacted this time?

[Cimbaruns]

Barbwire911

They cannot handle NC... . there absolutely has to be someone else or they are right back atcha!

They aren't able to be alone!... . it's excruciating for them... .

[barbwire911]

Yes well this is interesting as he was on the phone with me a few nights ago going on how he loved me and wanted to take me to lunch the next day, etc. and I refused. And his ex had been on FB sending me messages saying he had used me all along apparently and had never intended to be with me and I should ask him about some new girl named XY as he has already moved on.

So I called him up and asked him and he got all defensive saying his ex lies and he does not know an XY.  Yet I know when I first met him and we were only friends he had a girl named XY on his phone who he was texting back and forth one night when we were out but he said they were just friends. Yup. Likely she is my replacement though he denies it but he is a constant liar so that has no meaning.

he has played all of us... . his ex and me against each other, me and his female boss against each other... . he just seems to use people when he needs something or they can offer him something. Then he goes along... .

[barbwire911]

Just wanted to add something though... he is in Florida with his 5 year old daughter (not my daughter) at his mothers place and just left yesterday and a few days before that was when all this craziness began.  I feel fine without him for the most part and am enjoying the drama freedom of peace.  Do the BPD kids and mother ever serve to replace the significant other so they are not alone, per se? Even though it is not an intimate relationship bond?