Therapy ?

[AG]

Anyone on here have any recommendations for a therapist or type of therapist? Are there specific therapists that deal with the aftermath of being with one of these parasites for extended periods? Has anyone noticed substantial benefits from seeking therapy? Not sure which direction to go for dealing with these emotions I have. Any advice is appreciated.

[LettingGo14]

I'm no expert, but I have a therapist (T) who I find very helpful.  Here's a partial list of questions to help decide if or how to proceed:

1. What would you define as your core challenge, i.e. to address in therapy? For me, I was "stuck" emotionally (and remain so in some ways) during and following my disordered relationship.  Somehow, even though it took me a while, I realized that I was "stuck" because I numbed myself from feeling emotions.  It has come to light that I had core family of origin issues that kept me stuck in the r/s.   I'm working on that stuff now and while it's not always fun... . it has helped.

2. What type of therapy do you want?  You need to read up on the various types, which can address various things.  "Talk" therapy is typically psychodynamic, or insight, therapy.   "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" is another type with various iterations, like Schema Therapy.  I've searched around here:  www.mentalhelp.net/ , and listened to the podcasts (e.g. one on Schema therapy):

3. What would be your goals for therapy? Letting go? Figuring out how you participated?  Forgiving yourself for the BS that goes along with these types of relationships?  For me, it was all of the above.

All the best.  Keep coming here as well.  It helps.

[nownotsure]

I had a few sessions with a therapist and found it invaluable. For example, if you're having trouble moving on from the relationship, the therapist can teach you some effective coping strategies.

LettingGo14 has come up with some good suggestions to get you started. I would just like to add that it's also helpful to find a therapist whom you'll feel comfortable opening up to.

[Tausk]

Congrats on your insight that maybe a therapist can help.  It's a sign of courage and honestly.  

And those are two cornerstones of how to move through the detaching process.  I'm not an expert on therapists... . But I found someone who wouldn't let me lie to myself, but also was validating.  And also willing to give me strong suggestions.  My first Therapist during the interaction and during the initial year of my breakup was so helpful that I was able to function at high level at work again thanks to his suggestions, and have had three promotions in the two years.

My more recent T who I see once in a while, recently gave me some great insight.  I was telling her that my job is very stressful and dynamic,  "I have a high level of responsibility and pressure but almost no control or power."

My T simply said, "It sounds a lot like your childhood."

 

Bingo.  A perfect example of how a professional can help bring insight to me that can lead to growth.

[deebob48]

In my humble opinion, gestalt therapy, a form of process-oriented therapy is the way to go.  Gestalt therapy will help you make sense of what happened, and learn to take responsibility for your wellbeing in future relationships.  This form of therapy is likely to be more long-term, though, so keep that in mind.  Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is great too, but more skill-based and likely more short-term.