I saw it on facebook trough a comment a mutual friend made. I blocked most of the mutual friends but not all, because they are a large part of my social circle. I blocked them all now... .
this is good - it is hard, but protecting yourself is the most important thing right now.
Yes, I know pursueing contact with a former ex is not the smartest thing to do, but I feel so worthless now, and I want it to stop.
I know you feel this way, but keep telling yourself "feelings are not facts" - you are not worthless, rebuilding your self worth is the goal now.
I am in therapy but I only see the Pdoc once every two weeks.
can you increase your sessions right now. When I was where you are, I went 2X per week for about a month.
I can hardly eat because my stomach is tightly clenched from stress.
I know, I puked every morning for about a month - I know that feeling. Make yourself eat lightly - granola bars, potatoes, bland easy stuff - you need the calories and the carbs will help your brain.
I go to bed on a regular shedule but wake up in the middle of the night frequently.
I remember that too - what do you do when you wake up?
It helped me to go put on a movie that made me calm down or escape - do you have favorite movies?
I dont do drugs or alchohol, I take same calming medication when needed.
Good, don't be afraid to use medication if needed. Perhaps even talk to your Dr. about a mild anti-depressant. Once our brain chemistry is radically altered from the trauma, we can definitely benefit from taking that 10% edge off.
Meditation sounds soo good, but I am to wind up, my body feels like its about to shatter from stress, it's hard to relax, my head is working overtime and it has to slow down. I am doing the best I can to stay on top of this.
Meditation is hard when we are not traumatized, it just takes practice - let yourself try some guided ones on youtube - even if you focus 10% it is 10% more than the day before... . practice not perfection.
How do other people deal with these kinds of things? I feel like I am the crazy one! Why cant I just let it go?
Right now you are the crazy one - I was too - heck most of us here were... . different crazy, but still crazy
Be kind to yourself - you have been through a massive trauma -more than you know right now. It is not going to magically go away... . think of it this way - if you BF died, nobody would tell you to just get over it in a few months... . so please give yourself the same compassion.
Are you exercising? This is critical for everyone I have seen get "unstuck". Emotions are energy in motion - get your energy moving and your emotions do change - it is used in DBT also.
Hang in there,
SB
