No Contact, :)

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi everybody, There have been some changes in my situation. We got a new therapist for the kids who is also going to make a custody recommendation to the court. I currently have the kids most of the time. She is going to read the custody evaluation and speak to the kids previous therapist. 

We also got a Special Master appointed also and I met with her the other day.  She said that for now she doesn't want the ex and I communicating with each other At All,  unless there is an emergency with the kids. No emails, no text, nothing. Everything is to go through the Special Master.  It sunk in when I got home. I don't have to deal with her at all. No Contact.  It feels like a large weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

[sfbayjed]

Hi everybody, There have been some changes in my situation. We got a new therapist for the kids who is also going to make a custody recommendation to the court. I currently have the kids most of the time. She is going to read the custody evaluation and speak to the kids previous therapist. 

We also got a Special Master appointed also and I met with her the other day.  She said that for now she doesn't want the ex and I communicating with each other At All,  unless there is an emergency with the kids. No emails, no text, nothing. Everything is to go through the Special Master.  It sunk in when I got home. I don't have to deal with her at all. No Contact.  It feels like a large weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

[ForeverDad]

It feels like a large weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Sad that it has to be this way - and that it took so long for the professionals but Glad you got this measure of relief.

[livednlearned]

It sounds like both the special master and the new therapist are aware that there are big issues with your ex?

What kind of custody recommendations? More time with you? Or legal custody?

How is your daughter doing at the current school?

[sfbayjed]

I have to say this is one of the best things that has happened in a long time.  You really notice how much stress all these irrational obstructionist attacks  cause when all of a sudden you don't have to deal with it anymore.  It is almost surreal. She made most eveyrthing difficult. Of course she started CC'ing my lawyer on her emails, but that will soon cease as well.  I simply don't have to deal with her distortions and monkey wrenches  right now.  I am getting a break from the madness of attempting to rationally co-parent with an irrational and vindictive person.

I get to deal with things through the filter of a rational professional. I am grateful that this has happened.

I think most of the professionals can tell there is something about her that is not right. They will be speaking to the kids previous councilor as well.

I need to inform the therapist now, as to what I believe is the best thing moving forward as far as custody. I need to state it in a way that makes it clear that I am thinking of the kids.