one year today

[Depression = 72% of members]

It's been year today that my BPD wife abandoned my kids and I

There has  been several recycle attempts but I've managed to keep

Her away from us while I still love and miss  her I'm sure it's for the best

[gravy75]

It's been year today that my BPD wife abandoned my kids and I

There has  been several recycle attempts but I've managed to keep

Her away from us while I still love and miss  her I'm sure it's for the best

[heartandwhole]

Hi gravy,

Congratulations on making it one year, that surely has been difficult.  Of course you love her and miss her, you are a caring human being.  Nothing wrong with those feelings.  It's great that you are listening to your head, and not just your heart.

What has helped you the most to stay the course with your detachment?

[nolisan]

WTG Gravy

That's a major milestone. Do something nice for yourself.

I'm 1.5 years out ... . it get better each day (with some ups and downs). WOW I'm human!

Noli

[imstronghere2]

I'm at 2.5 years out now.  Same story as yours.  My exwBPD just moved several states away with the man she had her affair with and married.  She was visiting about once a month with our S14, barely had any contact with our D20 but now that she's so far away, that's the end of any of that. 

Somehow we do get through this.  For me it hasn't been all roses and sunshine since she left us.  It's been one struggle after another but at least she's not inflicting her insanity on us any longer.  That's a relief.

I put 22 years of my life in to that relationship.  Not so easy to just move on from.

Your choice to keep her away is for the best.  Hopefully life will start being kinder to you.

Cheers!

[Pecator]

Damn this S**t is hard,

two months out, still haven't gone completely NC, though she will never contact me.

I spend mornings in a healthy way. Good breakfast and encouragement from this board.

Had a great morning…excited to see my T tomorrow and talk about detachment.

Even saw your thread and clicked on it for some good news.

It is truly good news.

So why have I been crying for the last 15 mins.?

The thought of not seeing her for an entire year still triggers grief.

every time I start to look forward something happens.

I am still very inspired by your story gravy.

I'm sure I will get there. It is hard!

As AnW suggested, would love to hear what helped you (or others) the most to stay on track with detachment.

[purpleavocado]

It is DEFINITELY for the best. Congrats on staying strong!

[Stjarna]

Congrats, gravy!  I am nearing the 1-year mark myself.  You are right in that it is definitely for the best.  I am finally looking ahead instead of back, finally.  The journey hasn't been easy, but so, so worth it. 

[Ritchie53]

I am a bit behind everyone here, 6.5 months out and balance seems to restoring itself ever so slowly.

I have fluctuated through every emotion possible in that period - and none of them very good. My only goal now is indifference, if I can reach that then I win - but win for myself. I admire everyone who has made it to those 1 year marks and beyond - with slight envy at the moment as I too want to be there. No contact has been set in stone a long time ago, now it is just a time factor for me.

[Waifed]

I am a bit behind everyone here, 6.5 months out and balance seems to restoring itself ever so slowly.

I have fluctuated through every emotion possible in that period - and none of them very good. My only goal now is indifference, if I can reach that then I win - but win for myself. I admire everyone who has made it to those 1 year marks and beyond - with slight envy at the moment as I too want to be there. No contact has been set in stone a long time ago, now it is just a time factor for me.

Congrats on the milestone Gravy!

I'm almost 7 months out and feel exactly the same as you Richie. I'm seeking indifference. I get close only to be surprised by triggers reminding me of her. The pain is gone but I am shocked that this has been so difficult to move on from. I would never consider returning to a relationship with her.

[Calm Waters]

Its just over a year for me too, we need to congratulate ourselves I agree, for surviving and doing what we can to heal / stay strong. nevertheless for me i still have regrets that I could not make it work with my BPD exGF, I miss her and struggle still being NC, and feel ambivalent, part of me wants to know whats going on for her and part of me feels that if i did i would feel worse.

[Ritchie53]

Congrats on the milestone Gravy!

I'm almost 7 months out and feel exactly the same as you Richie. I'm seeking indifference. I get close only to be surprised by triggers reminding me of her. The pain is gone but I am shocked that this has been so difficult to move on from. I would never consider returning to a relationship with her.

Its the triggers for me as well at this point, sometimes seeing a make of car like hers or the guy that replaced me, an expression used by someone that she used to use, its weird there seem to be little triggers everywhere and one can assume and hope that they pass. I too am shocked by how long and likewise I would never, ever go back there.