she called

[Stephen19]

Ok so I've read other threads like this

So my ex just called while on her way to an AA meeting

From the other side of the country asking me to come home

After leaving 2 months back

After months of craziness after she accused me of cheating, tried to commit suicide, was admitted to a mental health unit where she was diagnosed and then 6 weeks in rehab.

Often I've wondered if she really is BPD or if I'm just trying to use that as an excuse why we didn't work but this seems like what I've heard called a charm

I told her to call me back after her meeting if she wanted

I know this is brief but I don't have much time

Any advice?

[Stephen19]

Not a charm

A charm

I don't know why that got changed

[Stephen19]

Ok it did it again

Maybe just disregard this thread entirely

[arn131arn]

Move further away... .

No really, why would you do this to yourself again?

I often forget about the pain of my last drink. And I often forget about the pain of my sons mother.

Both are toxic

[cosmonaut]

I don't have any advice, but I sympathize with how you must be feeling to hear from her again.  What is your gut telling you to do? 

Let us know how it goes.

[Stephen19]

This is true

I know the answer is no

But the question is why?

Its just such bizarre behavior

[heartandwhole]

Hi Stephen19,

The software changes the term automatically.    I think the term you are looking for is recycling

Many people with BPD attempt to re-engage the person that they left, and many partners do the same.  She may simply miss you and want you back.  Or she may be trying to self-soothe because of something going on (or not) in her life.  It's a complex disorder and doesn't make sense to rational thinkers.

What feelings came up for you after her phone call? 

My advice would be to get clear on what you want before you speak to her again.  Many times the words that are said are very tempting. 

[fromheeltoheal]

I agree with H&W.  What do you want?  :)o you trust her?  :)oes she treat you with respect?  Was the relationship mostly good or mostly bad?  If yours was anything like mine, it was more of an addiction than true, sustainable love, an obsession, one that would result in endless pain for me, trying to get something I never could and being perpetually obsessed with trying.  That mindset, that group of beliefs that got me to that place, is a fertile field for growth opportunity moving forward.  The way a borderline goes about doing what they do uncovers beliefs and mindsets in us we might not have known we had, the gift of the relationship.

Time to make a decision.  If you want her, knowing what you know, go for it, if not, use the lessons as opportunities for growth, and you just might look back and see the relationship as a gift once you do.  Take care of you!