Broke LC Today

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Rent on our shared lease is due today and she hasn't paid it yet, so I sent her a text as a reminder and to gauge whether she still plans on paying it. We previously agreed that the only contact between us will be about business matters. Here's the conversation:

Me: Rent is due

BPDex: Yeah i know thanks

BPDex: I work15 hours today so i will pay ie tonight. Not that it matters. You only pay a small portion

BPDex: So don't try to be smart with me you just look like a bigger ass than you already are

BPDex: Unless you want to pay the full ### again. Please don't talk to me

Me: I was just letting you know, didn't realize you'd be upset.

BPDex: Really Name? Grow up.

Me: You're upset that I pulled my card from the Netflix and Cox accounts.

BPDex: No not at all. I got my own accounts so it doesn't matter I'm mad because you think you have the right to tell me when to pay anything.

Last month she had the right to call me to remind me to pay rent haha. I only have two more months on the lease, so after that I look forward to 100% NC.

I also got reminded of how she would way over-exaggerate the hours she worked. The restaurant is only open for 13 hours and they can only have any one person work for 9 hours maximum in a day. She used to tell me she worked 80 hour weeks on average when she only worked 4 out of 7 days. I would point out that meant she worked 20 hours each day at work and the restaurant and they weren't even open that much. She would immediately blame me for trying to make her feel worthless.

It gives me a good laugh now looking back on everything.

[drxap]

Rent on our shared lease is due today and she hasn't paid it yet, so I sent her a text as a reminder and to gauge whether she still plans on paying it. We previously agreed that the only contact between us will be about business matters. Here's the conversation:

Me: Rent is due

BPDex: Yeah i know thanks

BPDex: I work15 hours today so i will pay ie tonight. Not that it matters. You only pay a small portion

BPDex: So don't try to be smart with me you just look like a bigger ass than you already are

BPDex: Unless you want to pay the full ### again. Please don't talk to me

Me: I was just letting you know, didn't realize you'd be upset.

BPDex: Really Name? Grow up.

Me: You're upset that I pulled my card from the Netflix and Cox accounts.

BPDex: No not at all. I got my own accounts so it doesn't matter I'm mad because you think you have the right to tell me when to pay anything.

Last month she had the right to call me to remind me to pay rent haha. I only have two more months on the lease, so after that I look forward to 100% NC.

I also got reminded of how she would way over-exaggerate the hours she worked. The restaurant is only open for 13 hours and they can only have any one person work for 9 hours maximum in a day. She used to tell me she worked 80 hour weeks on average when she only worked 4 out of 7 days. I would point out that meant she worked 20 hours each day at work and the restaurant and they weren't even open that much. She would immediately blame me for trying to make her feel worthless.

It gives me a good laugh now looking back on everything.

[growing_wings]

hi drxap,

in my view, engaging in a way that is beyond the most minimal amount of words is the best, especially when dealing with needed situations like rent, etc... .IMHO i would keep emotions out of the conversation... . she is trying to provoke you with some of the answers so you engage back in conversation... best way to show that you are moving on, is to not engage on her allegations... just show that you are indifferent in my view, is about moving on in the best possible way... .

[drxap]

Before, she was reasonable about this kind of stuff. I guess her sudden change in attitude successfully made me have an emotional reaction and I engaged her feelings. However, I think I did a pretty good job at not showing her that her words were affecting me.

[WhatTheFrank]

Are there any negative repercussions for you if she doesn't pay her half?  If not, let her handle her own affairs.  They're her responsibility now, not yours.

[drxap]

I don't live there anymore, so there are no immediate repercussions for me. I did check the balance again today and she still has not paid it despite her nasty reply. My only worry is that she moved out and plans on not paying just so I get stuck with it, as the responsible adult. The landlord can see what accounts money has come from and I have had a pretty good relationship with him so far, so hopefully he will hold her accountable.

[WhatTheFrank]

I was lucky enough to have an understanding landlord (he liked dealing with me, because I was someone rational to speak with, while she would just call him and rage when there was something she wanted/needed fixed).  When it was my time to go, I told the landlord that I would be dealing with him directly, and he told me that anything she didn't pay would be on her.

Maybe you can talk to him and set up the same type of arrangement.  You are a responsible adult, but you're not responsible for her!

[drxap]

I guess she is paying it. She just called to ask, once again, what the payment website is. She also asked if she needed "a www in front of it" .

That is solid advise though. I am going to call him next week to make sure he understands that I am not renewing my lease even if she is and that I own the full security deposit for the current lease.