... . relationships with someone with BPD re-open core wounds that we have fought to avoid for many years, and that's why it feels so devastating. It's not just the loss of a four year relationship, it's like experiencing all the losses you've ever had rolled into one.
This is spot on accurate.
Cron65, are you seeing a T?
I knew I needed help when the pain of breaking up with my ex felt like an internal death. The sadness was unbearable and if it hadn't been for BPD family I would have probably done some serious harm to myself. Getting a therapist saved my life. I had a lot of family trauma, unprocessed baggage and the feelings of hopelessness were not manageable for me. I posted on here like a madwoman and sought a therapist. I cried like a newborn and I read all I could about BPD.
The loss is powerful because more than likely your ex represents toxic energies and buried pain of your past coming back to life. This is not the case with everyone on here but it was the case for me.
My ex was very much an emotional replica of both my narcissistic mom and schizophrenic controlling possessive father. And it's why I loved the BPDex so deeply. My parents we not good at parenting and I was the sad and lonely child dreaming of being rescued by Mr. Perfect. Then the BPD ex comes into my life with his monkey wrench and all hell breaks loose.
Understanding BPD helps as well as reading the stories of others on here. What helps is understanding that you aren't alone. Narcissism and mental illness is more common than you think. Keep posting and keep reading.
Spell
