Wow what a day, even the police saw through her...

[DB33]

It's over. Or is it?

A few days ago when I was at work my exGF started raging and locked the doors and told me I had to move. My things would be waiting in garage and anything I did not pick up by 6pm would be discarded. Fortunately I knew this was coming and I had a place already in the wings. So over the weekend I moved my vehicles and tools and my clothes she threw into the garage. She then raged further, claimed all my things in the house was hers and then proceeded to send me many threatening texts

She threatened to call some of my clients and claim I was having an affair with their wives.

Same thing with members of my church

Threatened to claim I molested her teenage son

Threatened to post flyers of such on my boys college campus.

Threatened to go on a Facebook smear campaign against me to all my children and my children's friends.

Threatened to post fliers that I was holding a homosexual sex addict support meeting at my business.

I went NC on the first threat.

So today I contacted landlord and he said I should be able to get my things, and he would witness. We went there and she was not home. I got most of my things loaded on my truck but then she came home and called the police.

I talked calmly to the officer and explained the situation. When he tried to talk to her but her emotions flared and she had to repeatedly be told to stop being combative. She claimed everything on my truck was hers.

The officer talked to landlord and he told him she was a habitual liar.

Officer came back to me and read all the threatening text messages.

He called prosecutor who said all items are in dispute so must remain at house and we go to court to settle it.

In the meantime exGF went back into house and caused damage and came back out and in typical BPD fashion totally flipped into a different person. She became the calm innocent victim waif that was being taken advantage of.

Officer saw right through it and tried his best to mediate and help me out.

She then said she only wanted her guitar back and a mermaid statue (I bought that for valentines decoration but she was trolling craigslist for a replacement so it was a bust)

My Ibanez guitar though I bought online and could prove I paid for it (400)

Officer suggested I give it to her and run for my life with everything else before she flips again. Then take her to small claims.

My other items still in house I am calling a loss.

So I left.

Then she realizes the implications of her texts and sends me an apology, calls me honey, says she was just mad and didn't mean any of that. And let's just move on from here.

Two minutes later she threatens to subpoena my ex wife and kids and it would get ugly if I dare take her to court.

I remained NC.

So my hurt vindictive side wants to take her to court and prove the guitar is mine and get it back. Another side wants to prove it's mine then just give it to her.

But that is just me getting even.

If I go to court then her behavior will have to be presented, and this is a small town... . it would ruin her to have that on public record.

I loved that guitar, and it irks me that she would lie and claim my property. 

But should I just cut my losses and move on?

The good news is I am out. Traumatized, but out.

[TwoCents]

I would say walk away.  I have been in situations before that didn't go quite as well as yours and would have gladly traded for the result you got instead.  It seems in the big picture that $400 in personal property isn't a deal breaker when it comes to having an opportunity to make a clean(er) exit from a really bad situation.

Now if a recycle attempt was attempted with an offer to return your guitar, that's the tricky part.  Maybe even then you just stay away.  But I wouldn't drag anyone into court over a small amount of personal property.  That's just more drama when you probably could both use less.

You could have lost the guitar in a fire or a flood, or any number of ways and you'd have just had to accept its loss.  Maybe one day you could celebrate escaping her with your sanity by finding a new guitar, one that won't remind you of this situation and that you like even better.

[DB33]

Yes I know it's kinda petty I should let it go. But she is stealing from me, it is not right.

Watching her stand there and lie to the officer in front of her son, who knows the truth , made me feel really bad for him. What kind of example is she? And this is someone that is the youth leader at church.

[willy45]

Dude. Look at it this way. Would you pay $400 to never have to deal with her BS again? Good lord I know I would. That's pretty cheap. Compare that to the price it probably already has and will continue to have on you. A bad mental space can translate to actually loosing money (lost opportunities, lost productivity). So, $400 is a steal. Go buy a better guitar.

[irishmarmot]

You will be much better off just letting her have the guitar and never seeing her again.   A few months from now you will have some perspective and will be much better off.  All of the things you described are typical BPD behavior.   My ex did the same to me and now that i am 3 months out with NC I see her for what she really is, a person that suffers greatly. 

[Take2]

You should probably be prepared for her to offer it back at some point... . I would think she wanted to hold on to some of your things to keep the door open for future contacts attempts... . and I would agree with what everyone here says... .   forget the guitar.  At least for now.  No matter how unfair it is.  I get being stuck on that... .   I've been stuck on that concept for far too long... . it's never going to be fair.  That's just how this is... .   once you accept that you'll have an easier time moving on... .