The cycles ...

[tiredndown]

The cycles are mind numbingly crazy! I can see them from a distance now, the little 'talks', the hovering, the ticks ( yawning or little coughs ), the endless txts in the name of working on the marriage, the push-pull, the waking me up in the middle of the night, the defensiveness.

I know what they are going thorough, but what the hell?

How the hell are they as screwed up as they are? How the hell is it that they can't see where the issues lie?

I know the answers to those questions as I have been dealing with this for 12+ years, I am just venting. I know I have my faults, everyone does, but if she believed the stuff she wrote to me, why isn't she trying to divorce ME? She does have a right to do that, She does NOT have a right to make my life HELL ! ! !

[heartandwhole]

Hi tiredndown,

You have every right to your feelings.  I think one of the hardest things about these relationships is that we and our partners come from different perspectives and some behavior just doesn't make sense to us.  The mind just can't fathom it, and it sends us reeling.  I've been there, too.

Radical acceptance is a great companion at these times.  And looking at ourselves.

Let it out.  We're here for you.