I am... . he's the one who suggested she might have BPD and got me onto reading about it. I still don't know, but she's ticking all the boxes, and her behaviour has just been out of control. So far he's been listening to me, and not really helping yet. I come across ok when I'm with the T, but underneath I'm a mess. I will definitely open up more about what's going on in my head next time I know I need to.
My mind knows what I need to do, but my heart is a mess. Then my mind follows. I wonder if I'm falling into depression sometimes. I know how bad she is for me now, but I miss the girl I used to know. I feel like she's just beneath the surface... . does that make sense? Like she's going to come back one day as the girl I loved, not this new one. She's so fragile, but pretends to be so happy. I can't stand it tearing me apart like this.
I don't want to wait, but I wonder... . when it gets to the point my relationship has, do they ever switch back and want to reconcile? I can't help but wonder if that happened, and we got proper help things could be good. :)o they come back from this, or is it just nasty from here on in?
I don't know the answer to that question. I'm still learning about BPD to be honest with you. Hopefully others will give you some good advice and insight. I never new anything about BPD till six months after I was dumped by my wife. I'm at the 8 month NC point.
I feel for you and understand. I don't know if this will help you but maybe try to take your mind off her some. Listen to some positive uplifting music, no love songs. Do something fun. I play guitar to relax and take my mind off things. Watch a comedy dvd and laugh. Don't let her drag you down is my advice. Keep us updated.
Good Luck
AO
