2 years on & thanking everyone

[vegasbaby]

Hello everyone, i have not been on the site for a very long time but wanted to say thsnk you to everyone i spoke with during a horrible time post BPD breakup & to tell everyone it does get 100% better& you do move on a bit tarnished but wiser more astute to people&their ways& happy yes happy.  My last hurdle is shifting the 19 pounds i gained on anti d's to deal with ptsd i developed as a result of this dangerous relationship i entertained which in itself is a kick in the ass to send these bozos packing  im BPD bf free, anti d free & back to my old self and hopefully my old weight soon enough  this board was a lifeline so a huge thank you the moderators are great.  Rule of thumb if actions&words don't match believe the actions, words are just that, words.  Your only crime was being too trusting, don't be too hard on yourself

[DiamondSW]

I'm 8mths on and much better and happier too... . this board is a lifeline and a place to gather some very sensible advice and much needed sympathy and care... .

I've moved on, met a healthy woman and taking things v slowly -but through her, I've learned just how bad my previous relationship was and how vulnerable I was. 

The advice above is spot on;  If the actions fail to match the words, it's not a healthy relationship and it may well be a BPD relationship.  In 8mths my ex has done nothing with her life at all.  All the promises of finding a job, gaining a professional qualification and generally acting like an adult and 'moving on' with life, were just that -promises/words.  Nothing changes for her, still reliant on others, waif like, mainipulated by an ever frustrated mother who wants to spend the inherited family ££ on herself, not the daughter. 

This site and a fabulous Therapist are the key.  Thank you to everyone. Each day I'm stronger and happier... . and I'm glad she's gone.  I actually like myself these days   which makes a change from when I was with her... .   xxx DiamondSW

[heartandwhole]

Hi vegasbaby,

What good news, thank you for posting!  It's great to hear that you are doing so much better.  We need good news, too, so it's great that you popped in to say hello.

The actions are, indeed, much more important than the words.  

A great reminder for all of us.

Take good care and stop by anytime.

heartandwhole

[HappyNihilist]

Yay! Thank you so much for posting this, vegasbaby!

I'm so happy for you! I know you're even happier for yourself.   Keep on taking care of yourself!

And thank you so much for sharing your update, DiamondSW! What fantastic stories!

[Boisnix79]

I really needed to hear this Vegas... . Thank you... . I'm three weeks out and I'm all PTSD'd out.

[vegasbaby]

My heart goes out to you, ptsd is vile.its the worst part of the whole thing but if its any consolation this is what i discovered after coming through it

Your not going mad

Your not broken

Yes its temporary

Yes it was purely circumstantial that brought this on

Yes the rollercoaster of emotions will stop, the BPD assasin is gone your body just needs time to catch up on your brain on this bit of information its in combat mode still

Yes i will be exactly back to how i was pre BPD

No i will never tolerate anyone in my life who gives off even a whiff of negativity towards me

Yes its ok to dump people who ruin your happy vibe

No your not oversensitive if someone seems unhealthy to be around take action don't keep giving benefit of doubt avoid them

You are the most important person in your life protect yourself

Its ok to be selfish stop worrying