So I ended it

[Tired_of_this12345]

So I ended it finally.   This has been long overdo.

Beautiful woman,  6 month honeymoon period,  although there were the red flags.  She always talked about how every man abused her and I was her knight in shining armor.  I had an steroid using ex bf try to beat me up.  I think she loved that.   But everything moved quick and fast,  and I was looking at wedding rings 6 months into the relationship.   Then she hit me with a bombshell out of nowhere,  she started with her needing space and needing time,  then would want me back soon after.   Then all the satellite dudes started coming more into her life.   Then the ex husband was back sending inappropriate texts and spending way too much time with her.   She was looking for a new house,  and instead of looking with me,  he was going with her. 

And I spent my life trying to make her happy.  I did so much for her around her house and for her kids that I am embarrassed.   I skipped my family functions to be with her and her family.  She met my family once,  but never wanted to go back.  Everything was always about her.  She was often sick,  or worn out and I always needed to take care of her.

I think she truly enjoyed keeping me off guard and on my toes.  Lots of ignoring texts and calls,  or promising to call back,  and not doing it.   Well we broke up more times in the last few months.   

So here we are at the year and a half mark.  Basically it became a purely sexual relationship only taking place in each other's beds.  Finally,  after admitting she had been texting a satellite dude,  and then lying about it,  I told her it was over.  She was angry,  but we wished each other well and ended it.   I blocked everything.  We need no contact for a while.  A long while. 

[bruised]

Well done!  Just be glad you didn't need those wedding rings.  Good luck with the NC.

[Tired_of_this12345]

Yes very glad.   Both times I was at the jewelry store,  she broke up that day.  Ironically,  she saved me from making a huge financial mistake.  After the second break up,  marriage was no longer a consideration. 

[Banshee]

I sure understand doing so much that I'm embarrassed... Not even my closest friend knows... In my case he never even said thank you.

I started NC yesterday ... we can do this!

[LuckyNicki]

Dooddid we date the same girl?  This is so nuts.  The only thing that tells me we didn't is that she had an ex hubby.  Mine was never married. I swear all BPDs are soo similar!  Its really starting to freak me out

[LuckyNicki]

Mine asked for space because shes going through "chemo" and ___ in her life.  Once I gave her that, ex bfs starting coming into picture. ... .

[Narellan]

Reads exactly true for gender wise and wedding thing the only difference. Mine always split with me after an extremely fulfilling few weeks where he emotionally got too entangled... . And then ran a mile with no reason. After going away with him had a fantastic 5 days spent 24/7 with him , not one slightest disagreement he ditches me over the phone 3 days later and after telling me I'm " forever entwined in his soul" 3 days after the split he starts pursuing my best friend via FB and she responds on a daily basis and lies to me. So I'm NC with them both and life is so tough some days. Lesson learned. I've spent hours on here posting and reading and doing the lessons. It's been my lifeline, especially last weekend when I was rock bottom. It's shocking how they all say the same things almost like they read a manual. I admire the way you have handled yourself, and the way I also have. I'm proud of myself for not retaliating and just walking away with dignity. They truly seek out the most beautiful loving people to destroy.

[Tired_of_this12345]

Lucky,

They are all so similar.   I really was infatuated with this girl.   I don't call it love,  but that is what we always said.   Mine had continuous intestinal problems.  She would turn everything around on me.   It was fine for her to talk to all these guys that wanted to ef her. But it I talked to an unattractive coworker,  stuff would hit the fan.  Very insecure,  even though she was beautiful and I was obsessed.   I have started viewing her as less attractive over the past few months.   It has definitely helped.   I don't see her as the prize that I once saw.

[Tired_of_this12345]

Narrellan,

Thank you.   The end was typical of her.   She said "f you,  you are always right and I am always wrong."  Then I like usual,  told her how much I loved her her,  how much I cared for her family,  and how I would think of her often.   But in the end,  we just don't work anymore.  I am way too damaged from this relationship.   She agreed and said some nice things too,  and we left it at that.   

I deleted and blocked any methods of contact. 

Ironically,  she is always wrong,  so that is why arguments are so infuriating to her.  She does twist them around on me.   But she usually ends up saying whatever about 14 times because she has no other response. 

In the end,  I don't regret the relationship,  as it had it's good moments.  First 6 months were enjoyable.   Last year was pretty bad most if the time,  but still had some nice moments.   I let it go on too long,  but I guess I had to get to the end. 

[Narellan]

I too have gone NC now, but he doesn't know this as yet , he's too busy seducing my ex best friend to think about contacting me. We left it as friends only because I didn't want to escalate him. But recently I deactivated my FB account and have changed his name in my phone from ":)" to ":)on't answer this prick" I know he will contact me again and have prepared myself to not answer my phone and close the door in his face. This relationship was so intense and whirl wind and at times I have felt like he destroyed my soul. So damaging. But I don't regret it either because I have now found myself. He stripped me to my core. And because I've never felt that " soul mate" connection to anyone before I am hopefully that ill one day find that again with the right person. Someone who is well. In the meantime I have a plan to just move on and take each day at a time and try not to look back romanticising all those special fantasy moments. He can only hurt me now if I let him. And I won't even though he's trying his damnedest. I am stronger and have taken back my power. i wish you all the best.

[StayPositive]

Good that you managed to pull out.  For me it’s not so easy as I knew my ex for 15 years (living in different cities for most of the time).  Now we live in the same city. Just 6 months we wanted to give it a try, but then she disappeared. PBDs don’t want to attach themselves to anybody, that’s for sure.

StayPositive