What happens when you step out of the triangle?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

the whole triangulation thing is really interesting to me. I am wondering. what happens when you step out of the triangle and just stop caring? Triangulation only works when all three people are playing so what happens if you stop being jealous/angry/resentful or even caring about the other person in your BPD's triangle and go neutral? do they dump that person and try to bring in a new person to get you going so you play again? My gut tells me yes. I've been in one for a while, the story is long so typical of these relationships (me, my boyfriend and his ex wife who is also his business partner). I am just so over it, tired of caring - happy for them they can be best friends, have breakfast every morning who cares at this point... but then i wonder... when he sees I'm not playing... will he bring in someone else to triangulate me who I do care about! Maybe its better to pretend like I'm jealous still just a little here and there to keep this triangle going.

[Iwilldecide]

the whole triangulation thing is really interesting to me. I am wondering. what happens when you step out of the triangle and just stop caring? Triangulation only works when all three people are playing so what happens if you stop being jealous/angry/resentful or even caring about the other person in your BPD's triangle and go neutral? do they dump that person and try to bring in a new person to get you going so you play again? My gut tells me yes. I've been in one for a while, the story is long so typical of these relationships (me, my boyfriend and his ex wife who is also his business partner). I am just so over it, tired of caring - happy for them they can be best friends, have breakfast every morning who cares at this point... but then i wonder... when he sees I'm not playing... will he bring in someone else to triangulate me who I do care about! Maybe its better to pretend like I'm jealous still just a little here and there to keep this triangle going.

[Banshee]

 

I would love to know more about triangulation... It confuses me because I've always wondered can they do it with a friend?

My exbf got a guy roommate, our very next spat and breaking up took a totally different turn... the roommate doesn't work ... gets on his nerves but it seems that he's taken my place and the need to get back with me doesn't interest him.

On the other hand how special was I  if a male  roommate could take my place anyway...

Very interested in knowing more about this thank you for  posting it 

[Grey Kitty]

I think we have a workshop here on the Karpman Drama Triangle somewhere, 'though I'm losing motivation to look for it right now.

One thing I recall about it is that when you try to step out of the triangle, i.e. stop playing the game, those still in the game will pretty much always paint you as the persecutor in the triangle, playing victim to that and trying to get another party to rescue them from you.

You don't have to play the game... . but you most likely will have to live with that accusation, even though it is (likely) twisted/fabricated persecution. This is just the price for leaving the game.