Disaster

[Depression = 72% of members]

Just had a text from my ex to say her mum has just died and might I call her. Her mother has been ill for a long time and I knew this would come. We've been on pretty much no contact for 10 months. I feel absolutely 100 percent morally bound to call her and talk to her, she's all alone now... .

Oh god I feel sick

[brokenbutalive]

Just had a text from my ex to say her mum has just died and might I call her. Her mother has been ill for a long time and I knew this would come. We've been on pretty much no contact for 10 months. I feel absolutely 100 percent morally bound to call her and talk to her, she's all alone now... .

Oh god I feel sick

[HappyNihilist]

Just had a text from my ex to say her mum has just died and might I call her. Her mother has been ill for a long time and I knew this would come. We've been on pretty much no contact for 10 months.

Oh no, brokenbutalive! I'm so sorry.   What a difficult, painful situation.

I feel absolutely 100 percent morally bound to call her and talk to her

Why?

I went back and read your previous posts. She is a toxic person who caused you incredible torment. She abused you to the point that you moved away. What obligation do you feel towards her?

Try to step back a little and take care of yourself first. Acknowledge and work with your own feelings on this. On whether or not contacting her is healthy for you. No one here will try to make that decision for you, or disrespect whatever decision you make. Only you can decide if it's "right" for you to call her.

Oh god I feel sick

Very understandable! This is an incredibly stressful situation. I just want to make sure that you take care of yourself first. We're all here for you.

[Lion Fire]

I feel you brokenbutalive!

My ex's father is on life support , a matter of when and not if.

He's a good guy and I am sad. I have reached out to her sending

good wishes and strength. She asked me to be with her now but I'm

800 miles away and we've just split up.

It's a difficult one I know.

I guess all you can do is the right thing for you.

There always seems to be a catch when dealing with my ex tbh and I feel

manipulated. In my case, I say a prayer for him, her and the family but I'm not

rushing to London to put myself at risk with someone I can't trust.

It always seems to be no win anyway

[Trent]

Why? ... . What obligation do you feel towards her?

This.  I don't know your ex, but if she's anything like mine, she's all alone now because she pushed everyone away... . especially the ones that loved her the most.  She reaps what she sows.

If you do decide to reengage, be careful.  Your ex may be triggered by this loss (abandoned again) and attempt to manipulate you into getting back together to ease her pain.  Just don't forget that you need to take care of yourself first.  Good luck!