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Author Topic: Everyone has BPD now...  (Read 515 times)
justanotherguy25

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 23



« on: April 29, 2014, 01:31:17 AM »

Ok, so maybe this might sound really unusual, but do you find yourself almost diagnosing every new person that you meet now?   I have been away from her for 4 months now.  I am nowhere near ready to start dating again, but I have gone on a few dates anyways.  It was more to just get out of the house and possibly make some new friends. 

Ok, sorry, back to the point.  I am now finding myself looking for and finding traits of BPD in most new single people that I am talking to.  I almost feel like a PBD self diagnosing hypochondriac.  This really sounds absurd , even as I type this.  I know that I am probably just trying to protect myself.  My walls are up and I am fully on guard here.

Here is an example.  I was talking to a friend of mine the other night.  I have known her for a very long time. We just recently started talking again.  She phoned me and as soon as I said hello, I could tell that she was crying.  This instantly brought back terrible thoughts about my EX.  She was famous for not having any control of her emotions at all.   I did talk to her and found out that she had just lost one of her friends.  Now here is the part that I am so dreadfully sorry for.    I felt nothing at all.  I did not care that she was crying. All I wanted to do was get off the phone.  I could not mentally deal with that at all.   

I feel as if my heart, compassion, feelings and anything else that made me who I was is gone.  I see someone crying and I feel nothing at all.  I was looking at her like the tears were fake.   

Sorry, I just had to vent a little bit.   Has anyone else had this happen to them?  Are you lacking emotions now?  are you assuming that everyone that you are coming into contact with now is just as bad as your Ex?
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numb_buddha

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 42


« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2014, 02:11:19 AM »

I can relate to everything in this post. Yes, I find myself diagnosing BPD all of the time now. Indeed, I think you nailed it when you said it's a protective mechanism. Our body and mind do not wish to go through this ever again. I find myself depressed about my prospects in the love arena, as I am frightened of finding another girl with this disorder.

And yes, I feel rather flat or emotionless lately, which is dangerous. I know part of it is my depression in this aftermath (about 6 months out), but no doubt I feel changed by this. Never in my life have I felt such a shift in how I relate to the world.
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