Do pwBPD ever desperately try to get back with you

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My therapist has posed this to me. I don't think there's a snowballs chance. He blocked me on everything. Has told his friends not to tell them if they have talked to me and has "moved on".  I'm being told to prepare for him to rebound and come back.

It sounds like I've been painted black since April 1 I just don't see this being in the nature of pwBPD.

Does anyone know if this is common?

[RickLI]

My therapist has posed this to me. I don't think there's a snowballs chance. He blocked me on everything. Has told his friends not to tell them if they have talked to me and has "moved on".  I'm being told to prepare for him to rebound and come back.

It sounds like I've been painted black since April 1 I just don't see this being in the nature of pwBPD.

Does anyone know if this is common?

[TitaniumPhoebe]

I would think anything is possible due to the erratic emotional states.  My ex had an intense fear of abandonment and would have done anything to keep me but he was driving me insane so it was a different situation.  But he was definitely love me/hate me, said some AWFUL things about me that you wouldn't expect an enemy to even say.  Ask yourself if you deserve to be treated that way?  You don't deserve that.  If they want you back, keep yourself strong and remind yourself of all the awful things this person said about you.

[Love Is Not Enough]

Does anyone know if this is common?

It is very common. When he starts having issues with your replacement, or is lonely, he will contact you. They like to keep people in their back pocket for when they need them. My gf went to see her exNPDbf, who IMO really activated her BPD through systematic abuse, after they had been broken up for 7 years. It really damaged our relationship even though I know nothing physical happened between them. She has never given me a valid explanation as to why she went. She claims it was to prove to him she was fine without him, which I don't buy. I think it was either to rub her new rs with me in his face or to feel him out for a possible recycle. She was also lonely because I was out of town on business. We were also having serious issues at the time so I believe it was most likely for a recycle. So who knows really. All I do know is that I do not trust her at all anymore and I haven't been out of town in 18 months. I will be going soon and it bothers me greatly. Oh well, I am stronger now so I will find a way to let it go.

Please think long and hard about responding if he contacts you. Recovery is a long and hard road. After all the blood, sweat and tears I still have a shell of a rs. There is little intimacy, physical contact or trust between us. She rages rarely now and we look like the perfect family from the outside, but I am very lonely. On the positive side I am much stronger now in all aspects of my life thanks to this. Think seriously about going NC on your end if you do not want to pursue a rs. Good luck 

[TitaniumPhoebe]

Love is not enough, I would bet it was because you were gone. It seems BPD people don't like to be alone.

[Love Is Not Enough]

Love is not enough, I would bet it was because you were gone. It seems BPD people don't like to be alone.

I'm sure she was feeling lonely, but she was visiting her family and had her young children with her. She made it a point to go see him. She had no business doing so. Or having her children around him, which she promised she would never do because he is such a horrible person. She justified that by saying they were napping in the car and he only saw them through the door. What a pile of BS!

Sorry. I guess you can see that I'm still really bitter about it. Even after 18 months... .  

[RickLI]

Yeah right now he is trying to keep as busy as possible. Has been since we broke up. I think his mind cannot get lonely cause then the ghost of me will creep in and cause pain. He told me he hated pain, that he would run away from it.

So many things were said that now make sense. Like he would tell me that I have to be strong with him. Meaning that when his temper flares I have to be able to not take it personally. He said he knew he would die alone. Which always just bothered me and I felt so bad.

I really feel bad for pwBPD. But, I can't take this to bed with me. I just hope that he realizes one day that he had a partner who really loved him. I hope he seeks help and that he sticks with it. The alternative is so sad. I know there is nothing I can really do, but one can hope. Doesn't mean I'll live with despair. I will move on.