what did they do before social media?

[justanotherguy25]

So it really occurs to me that social media/ internet has made it almost too easy for someone with BPD to just jump from one relationship to another.  I know they are always looking, but how did they do it before?   Has this just made things so much easier for them? 

MY ex was constantly on Facebook and instagram all the time.  I think she was just using this for attention.  She would post pictures all day long of almost everything that she did.  She would constantly update her status with worthless posts about how she was feeling.

[dillan6241]

My exBPDgf did EXAXTLY the same thing. What I did notice however is that she almost did it out of fear of being alone with her own thoughts. Every time I'd go to work and she wasn't working she wouldn't even watch TV go outside or read a book ... . Shed find someone ... . Anyone to spend her time with for lunch for example. When she couldn't do this she spent all of her damn time on social media ... . Posting stupid twitter updates. Anyone who followed her knew wverry aspect of her life. So maybe its two fold Here ... . A fear of being alone and the need to constantly be connected to someone somehow ... . And the need for attention to draw themselves away from their own self-hate.

[MrFox]

My ex had, and probably still has, a personal FB page, a FB page for her business, a tumblr, a twitter account, a Google+ account, and an InstaGram account.  She is constantly posting pictures of herself, quotes, how awesome she is, how sick she is, how victimized she is, etc. etc. etc.

I agree with dillian, it stems from her fear of being alone.  It also feeds her (meaning my ex, not sure about yours) narcissism.  In the end it is like a drug to her, something to keep her from feeling alone, from feeling the hatred she has for herself. 

There is no doubt that social media has made engaging in their behaviors much easier, but looking at my own BPDmother, they did "just fine" without it as well. 

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

MY ex is addicted to fb he is on it all day everyday! It's nuts... he doesn't

know any of his fb friends in real life. He posts jokes (what he considers wit)

all day long. he is witty to a degree... but a lot of times... it's trying to hard to be funny.

He also posts sexual posts/perverted posts all day. He has no shame in what he posts.

He also has a private group with these people in which he has smeared me... .

It's hard that i treat him well... and I am a real live person ... . yet he doesn't know

these people and probably spends more time with them in a any given day.

[AwakenedOne]

My ex's second home was on Facebook. It was like a drug to her. Her image to all these people was extremely important. Yeah I also wonder if there wasn't Facebook what they would do. I feel like my wife put more effort into playing the Candy Crush Saga game on Facebook than into our marriage. 

[blissful_camper]

What did they do before social media?  Why, place themselves in social situations in real time! 

Depending on their interests:

Volunteering

Politics

Bars

Cafe's

Parties

Bookstores

Library?

[ScotisGone74]

Just a hunch but I'm guessing before fb and twitter they just paraded their newest sex tool down around the local quicky mart , courthouse, or big restaraunt they could find.    Keep in mind this type of behavior didn't go on too much back in the old western days where there was gunfighters and militia then.      Ohhh those were the days

[neverloveagain]

Im not really a fan of fb or social media sites my ex is though always on it. I never was privy to see her page because i trusted her (sucker no.1). I did google her one day for a laugh wow so many selfies of profile pictures different hair different style clothes, some quiet suggestive ones too. I pulled her up on it one day wow she deflects and has a go about snooping on her and its not fair as she doesent have many friends (pushed them all away). So i ended up feeling guilty about it (sucker no.2). She did have all my closest friends on her friends list when she was mirroring me but as she became her cool new job work pals she changed all that fb to suit her new life before she grew her wings and flew away.

[1BrickShort]

Hey, I had one of those people, too!

I think we'd have to go back to pre-text messaging, too. My ex didn't have a smartphone when we met, but was constantly texting friends from the very first date. I was, pretty much, always the third wheel. Her, her phone and me.

Embarrassingly, we ran into some of HER friends at a restaurant once and while we were all talking, she totally checked out and was on her phone texting with a co-worker while I was trying to maintain some semblance of NICE with her friends. One of the friends even made that comment that 'Oh, that's just (her name.) That's what she does.'

No, that's NOT what NORMAL PEOPLE DO, people.

I cannot even list all of the social networks she had going on: Facebook, Twitter (multiple accounts), G+, Reddit, Pinterest (multiple accounts), Instagram, Path, Kik, iMessage, GTalk, Voxer, Viber, Oggl, Flickr, Words with Friends (!).

I had a few social networking accounts as well, and we were 'friends' on them in those early stages of infatuation... . until I figured out she was scabbing off all the friends I had, and then in a mood she would use the various networks to attack me.

At current, I have Facebook (family with a very small handful of hiking friends) and Twitter, myself. My Facebook account is locked tight - I don't even exist as far as she can tell. She can and does read my Twitter account (it's in it's 5th iteration -- I jettisoned my long-time username on there when she initially started harassing me everywhere) but she can't interact with me, or harass me without other people seeing that she's doing it.

But yeah, all those 'friends' on there? Self-worth! ALL THE FRIENDS.

[BorisAcusio]

My uBPDex was more into or I may say addicted to dating sites and online chats. She only used social media to finalize the supply. Before that, she answered to telext and sms dating ads, making astronomical phone bills which was paid by her unsuspicious husband(!).

[BorisAcusio]

[Double post]

[corraline]

My ex worked in a profession that gave him alot of opportunities to meet women.  He was in the position of authority and could use that to his advantage.  I am certain it would have been easy to find attachments this way before social media.

He was on alot of dating sites and had several email accounts when we were together. Always trying to hide them. My friend saw  him a couple of times at  the local library on his email when he left my house on his way back home . I found history on my computer of a dating site not long before our breakup and when i asked him about it he accused my teenagers of it.  How ridiculous is that ?Whenever we had a fallout he had a new profile up immediately.  I didn't bother to look this time.

This time is different for me. I realize that i am only hurting myself if i go there...   I don't check anything anymore. My fear and paranoia about what site he was on or what he was up to  became pathological and I realized that I can't do anything to change it.

I was speaking to someone about it last night tho.  I think it must be hard for anyone never mind a BPD to deal with the constant temptation that flashes up on computers etc. I had my computer cleaned up recently but there used to be tons of temptations from dating sites flashing up. Social media is designed to target persons who are vulnerable with constant lures for sex and connection.

Hot babes in your area, or men who are looking for stable solid relationships.  yeah right.

[dillan6241]

My exBPDgf didn't have all the social media when we FIRST got together. We met at a local church (ironic, right?), she literally love-bombed me in front of her supposed "friend," and was doing both of us until I found out and she ditched him for me (I now understand why he was so awkward around me). She would idealize me in HUNDREDS of PAGES of letters and drawings, it was amazing. We would write back and forth, make these amazing plans of having kids and getting married, right down to the location of the venue. Looking back I imagine how crazy this must've been ... . but I recently and very briefly looked at some letters we wrote, and there's no wonder I fell into the trap like a fool.

3.5 years later and probably 500 pages of letters/pictures (NOT INCLUDING TEXTS/FB CHATS/DIGITAL PHOTOS/TWITTER POSTS ETC.) about how much she loved me, would never leave me blah blah blah ... . she ups and leaves, says she never meant it and never even loved me in the first place.  Boy ... . what a mind___. 

[numbr3]

Well-let's see... .

Volunteer at church with the kids,  meet single moms

Volunteer at the local school

Volunteer for any extra work activities outside of the required

Help out workmates with house chores

Be the first to sign up for anything where he will look like such a great guy

[ScotisGone74]

Lol    ohh geez thinking back to when I was in the relationship with the exBPD-she did the whole volunteer thing at a free health clinic maybe part of a day every month or two.      You would have thought by hearing her tell it she was Mother Teresa.

[AlmostBroken]

My ex-wife who was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder AND Narcissistic Personality Disorder spent her entire life on Facebook. Her fake Facebook friends were valued much higher than me when we were married. She was constantly posting how great and amazing she was. Social media is an excellent medium for a narcissist to blossom. It sickened me. I remember one particular post where she bragged about a random guy who paid for her Starbucks coffee one morning (his only intent was to flirt in an attempt to f**k). He was the greatest person on Earth that morning and it crushed me because I did so many wonderful and loving things for her daily and she never once posted anything about me.

When I moved out and filed for divorce, she used Facebook to defame me and my character. I lost all of our common friends to her, but I always knew that they were thinking with microscopic minds if they sided with her on all the outlandish and blatant lies about me. Those fake friends can have her and be blessed with her narcissistic/borderline friendship for life then.