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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: No Contact to win back ex BPD girlfriend  (Read 3676 times)
woodsposse
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 586



« Reply #30 on: May 10, 2014, 03:37:08 PM »

Yes... . you need to focus on your life. Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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goodmann11

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 19



« Reply #31 on: May 11, 2014, 08:22:21 AM »

Bluemann... . How you feel how you write your anger pain disbelief length of relationship type of girl... . Mate I am there now! Posted on here a couple of months ago. Mine even drove her car into my house 5 months into the relationship after a break of a week. A £20k insurance claim and her being sectioned I was still charmed back by her parents (enablers). Her F... king name is tattooed on my back. I have an engagement for sale. I supported her in every way. The abuse blaming lies running away spending (she is 30k bankrupt). She finally was taken away by the police in December after assaulting me and them. I was turned blacker than black. She went back to her mums. I missed her God knows why but then I chased her... . Mate their respect for you then dips even lower and they really go in for the kill. She called a mother a paedo demanded I move house book a wedding buy her a car. Made threats... I now have a tax investigation! Slandered me to everyone and anyone. Isolated me... . I am know quite lonely for the first time in my life. I cant believe I allowed a chav thick piece of S""t come into my life like this. She too came on strong very very early idolised me. Telling me how handsome I was great in bed blah blah... . yeah grooming me. But I outed her and have survived round one... . I really hurt but these forums help so much and the NC advise has to be the way forward now... . 7 weeks but it hurts but not as much as the contact since December when she has used the opportunity to play with me like a half dead mouse while setting up the replacement... . what a mug I was!. I am 50 year old player successful... . ish... never married nobodies fool etc Laugh out loud (click to insert in post). Well I had never knowingly met a diagnosed BPD. If I had in the past they never got past first base. But she was younger and very attractive to me I was hooked... . But no wedding or kids thank God!  But I hurt so much and cant stop obsessing about her with someone else... . what a waste of 3 years nice holidays childish fun and the sex... Its like a big dream now a façade a lie. If there is a pill I can take to feel better other than her knocking the door in waif mode (sober) truly sorry what is the answer... . Bluemann if you ever need to talk mate I am UK based in Kent and am so where you are at the moment
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blueman54321
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Posts: 173


« Reply #32 on: May 13, 2014, 05:09:21 AM »

Hi goodman,

I am n XXX by the way. My exbodgf was from XXXXX and I was groomed online .
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Englishman

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 48



« Reply #33 on: August 21, 2014, 10:35:22 AM »

So what happened Blueman?
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Lostinanother
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 131


« Reply #34 on: October 15, 2017, 10:10:10 PM »

So what happened here?
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Pencil sketch
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 206


« Reply #35 on: April 04, 2018, 12:30:40 PM »

I can hear the desperation in your voice.
For your own sanity, you have to be the adult, and let this go.
I want revenge, to see my ex suffer the way I am, but with these k9nd of people with this type of illness, the only person who will suffer, is you.
If you do reconcile, things will never go back to what you want, that and she, is gone, and nothing you can do, will bring it back.
Let her go, I held on for too long, and my health is compromised, but I am slowly recovering.
It's about you now.
Keep posting.
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Mikey26

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 33


« Reply #36 on: April 06, 2018, 11:32:18 AM »

She cheated on you, at leaat once, you leave her. That's massive violence and it's intentional. Period. You send her long mails? Egregious blunder. Warn her new bloke? Don't. Ever. His problem. Their problem. Get hold of friends. Hobbies.
I'm going through tough times myself, and I've had a second chance. I learned lots and took care of myself and priorotized myself and gave up no hobbies or friends at all. That must be why it was better this time. We had a bust-up on Monday, though, and haven't heard from her since then. She insulted me while we were playing cards in the park. Enough. I'm in pain, but I'll be 40 in a year. Life is short. If I was younger I'd even have fun through the hard to get game. How you are willing to put up with all that for good, it's uncanny. I take my hat off to you. Is she having treatment? How old are you guys?
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kleptoz28

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 15


« Reply #37 on: April 06, 2018, 01:03:04 PM »

She cheated on you, at leaat once, you leave her. That's massive violence and it's intentional. Period. You send her long mails? Egregious blunder. Warn her new bloke? Don't. Ever. His problem. Their problem. Get hold of friends. Hobbies.
I'm going through tough times myself, and I've had a second chance. I learned lots and took care of myself and priorotized myself and gave up no hobbies or friends at all. That must be why it was better this time. We had a bust-up on Monday, though, and haven't heard from her since then. She insulted me while we were playing cards in the park. Enough. I'm in pain, but I'll be 40 in a year. Life is short. If I was younger I'd even have fun through the hard to get game. How you are willing to put up with all that for good, it's uncanny. I take my hat off to you. Is she having treatment? How old are you guys?

Someone dug this thread up.  The OP is from 2014.
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