my new friend

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Sounds simple but its working.  A friend suggested it.  Our conversation about what I was and still am going thru was obviously more in depth than her simple suggestion but I am trying out her simple tool.

She told me that whenever thoughts come up about the painful things he said to me just to press "CANCEL" in my head. So I am, and its working.  Sometimes Im the kind of person who thinks everything needs a deep long drawn out complicated analysis and process in order for it to work.  Maybe where I am at today, (alot more detached and have a better understanding of the whole situation) allows the cancel button to work a little easier.  who knows.

But the "CANCEL" button is helping when the old messages pop into my head .

[corraline]

Sounds simple but its working.  A friend suggested it.  Our conversation about what I was and still am going thru was obviously more in depth than her simple suggestion but I am trying out her simple tool.

She told me that whenever thoughts come up about the painful things he said to me just to press "CANCEL" in my head. So I am, and its working.  Sometimes Im the kind of person who thinks everything needs a deep long drawn out complicated analysis and process in order for it to work.  Maybe where I am at today, (alot more detached and have a better understanding of the whole situation) allows the cancel button to work a little easier.  who knows.

But the "CANCEL" button is helping when the old messages pop into my head .

[Lucky Jim]

Hi corraline, I use the "Cancel Button" all the time when negative thoughts come up in my head.  Just because one has a thought doesn't necessarily mean that it is valid or deserving of our attention, in my view.  I liken my mind to a garden, in which I don't waste water or sunlight on the weeds.  Lucky Jim

[trappedinlove]

I liken my mind to a garden, in which I don't waste water or sunlight on the weeds.

Love that image!

I find that for myself my CANCEL button doesn't work as well and I'm learning to apply mindfulness techniques to examine these thoughts when they come up, to get to know them better in a calmer environment so to feel more comfortable with them and accepting of them (releasing guilt, fear, and shame) ,and then they can finally decay and be gone... .

Not sure how that plays into the garden image... . maybe staring at the weeds until they eventually die out... .

[Narellan]

Love that Coraline. Wonder if it works for loving thoughts? I'm struggling with all the adoration a of love he said to me, and did for me. And it's hard because I don't want to cancel them out. That's just today tho because I've been thinking about him too much. T appointment this morn so talked about him heaps. Wonder if this longing for him will ever go away ? On the flip side some days I'm so hurt by his actions I never want to see/ hear from him again.

He never said a bad thing to me.