Saw her again after 9 month of break up and 7 month NC

[Depression = 72% of members]

I am sitting the library right now.

9 month after our break up and 7 month after we talked to each for the last time (when she told me that she is seeing someone else already) I saw my ex. She was sitting in front of me for like 30 minutes, but I didn't recognize her, because she dyed her hair since we broke up and was constantly talking in her own language.

I just noticed that the person sitting in front of me is avoiding eye contact. When she then stood up to leave I recognized some of the cloths that we bought together and a laptop bag that I bought for her as a present.

I went out at the same time for a cigarettes. She noticed me probably from the beginning and also that I left as the same time as her.

We were then both in a revolving door. I was behind her and I was really angry that, that b!tch was sitting 30 min in front of me and treated me like air. Still wearing all that stuff I bought her. So i pushed so door unconsciously very hard and she tripped a little.

She turned around and gave me a very angry view and left.

I really didn't recognize her even she was sitting right in front of me for such a long time. She gained a little and her facial features changed. Nothing left from the cute and shy girl I once thought she is.

I don't have any feelings for her left nor do I want her back or anything. Just seeing that that unthankful trash who was living at my place last year around this time and pretends now that I don't exist made me really angry.

By now I have calmed down. But studies only last for one more month, I hope the next time she sees me she leaves the room.

[dansure]

I am sitting the library right now.

9 month after our break up and 7 month after we talked to each for the last time (when she told me that she is seeing someone else already) I saw my ex. She was sitting in front of me for like 30 minutes, but I didn't recognize her, because she dyed her hair since we broke up and was constantly talking in her own language.

I just noticed that the person sitting in front of me is avoiding eye contact. When she then stood up to leave I recognized some of the cloths that we bought together and a laptop bag that I bought for her as a present.

I went out at the same time for a cigarettes. She noticed me probably from the beginning and also that I left as the same time as her.

We were then both in a revolving door. I was behind her and I was really angry that, that b!tch was sitting 30 min in front of me and treated me like air. Still wearing all that stuff I bought her. So i pushed so door unconsciously very hard and she tripped a little.

She turned around and gave me a very angry view and left.

I really didn't recognize her even she was sitting right in front of me for such a long time. She gained a little and her facial features changed. Nothing left from the cute and shy girl I once thought she is.

I don't have any feelings for her left nor do I want her back or anything. Just seeing that that unthankful trash who was living at my place last year around this time and pretends now that I don't exist made me really angry.

By now I have calmed down. But studies only last for one more month, I hope the next time she sees me she leaves the room.

[antjs]

She gained a little and her facial features changed. Nothing left from the cute and shy girl I once thought she is.

i have just seen me exBPDgf two days ago too and yes i feel that she has changed even physically with some weight gain and now i find her unattractive. I think it is just our psychological perception because we know this person too well now. their charming physical looks do not deceive us as much as new people to them. I really understand your anger that u made her trip. do not feel bad about it. i did some horrible stuff too that i am sure are not part of me because this is unusual for me in other break ups. other break ups for me ended with closure and some humanity. I also understand your frustration that she acted as if you are air. mine also avoided eye contact at all costs. I am not sure she did so because she knows now that i know the real her too well or because she thought i was trying to re-engage. It is always about them. If she was lonely or does not have something that she can use as a pain-killer now she would have tried to re-engage with you just FOR HER OWN INTEREST !

[dansure]

i have just seen me exBPDgf two days ago too and yes i feel that she has changed even physically with some weight gain and now i find her unattractive. I think it is just our psychological perception because we know this person too well now. their charming physical looks do not deceive us as much as new people to them.

That's true. My friend who didn't know that she is my ex were actually checking her out. But to me I saw that change in her face. That aggressive facial features that I would see whenever we fought about minor things.

mine also avoided eye contact at all costs.

I always found it so hard so believe that they cut you from their life and kind of forget about you after you have been painted black. But I already accepted long before today. So I wasn't really surprised, it just felt strange to feel it confirmed in real life.

She acted like we were never a couple. Strange things, that exactly two years ago in May we had our first date here in the library.

There is a high chance that this was the last time that I saw her, because I am gonna leave in one month. Maybe it was necessary to get the last bit of closure. I am recently in touch again with my ex that I dated 4 years ago and who was my first love. When we Skyped for the first time it felt like we meet yesterday. She lives on the other side of the world. My exBPD lives close by and not even a year has passed after we broke up. And yet it's like we are complete strangers.

Well, another actions that shows that all her words throughout our relationship were just crap. But seeing this angry face of her again, reminded me of all the fights we had around this time last year, on how many times we gave me that look at said "let's break up!". The relationship was horrible and she is a pathetic person. Today was a nice last reminder of that before I move away from here and start a new chapter in life.

[expos]

that b!tch was sitting 30 min in front of me and treated me like air.

That's because you remind her of all of her failures.  They don't like acknowledge past wrongdoings, because someone else said in this thread, they are NEVER wrong. 

I would bring up past things that my ex-BPD did to me and ask why she did it, and she'd always shut down the conversation.   With my new girlfriend, I can safely bring up things that I did, or she did, and never be shut down.

[antjs]

There is a high chance that this was the last time that I saw her, because I am gonna leave in one month. Maybe it was necessary to get the last bit of closure.

LOL. she broke up with me with no clue before i traveled to another country to find a freaking job (career life changing opportunity for me and she knows it). I am very proud of myself that i was strong enough to set aside my feelings at that time and i successfully found a job. Before she broke up with me i have told her that i will go look for a job and come back for only a month and then i am going to move to the other country for good. so yeah ! same thing here. Probably she knows that this was the last time she is gonna see me in her freaking miserable life ! THEY ARE ___ING SELFISH AND LACK EMPATHY

[dansure]

That's because you remind her of all of her failures.  They don't like acknowledge past wrongdoings, because someone else said in this thread, they are NEVER wrong.  

To be honest I don't really think there is any deeper meaning behind it. She simply didn't care that I was there. For her I am history, something from last year, an old chapter. As she said "this is my new life and I don't want you to be in it" when she told me that she has a new boyfriend.

I also don't have any feelings left for her, I noticed today because I calmed down pretty quickly. It was just the surprise because it was so unexpected. Well, no feeling would be wrong. I still scorn her for her behavior at the end of the relationship. But well... . she didn't care to see me again and I will try to not care either. We are history and today I was just reassured that it's better this way. I am glad I didn't invest any second longer into a person who claims to love me more than anything and treats me like air 9 month after.

I have been doing pretty well recently... . while she gained I lost a lot of weight since we broke up. While she will graduate next year cause she failed some classes I am graduating in a month and already found a job.

Next month I will finally go back to me home city and move out of this apartment where we lived together and close this chapter once for all.

Still funny, that just before I am about to leave for good, I finally ran into her after 9 month. For some moments I sometimes thought she thinks of me or has any regrets... . but no, she is that exact sick b!tch that I expected her to be after spending several month on this board.

[antjs]

That's because you remind her of all of her failures.  They don't like acknowledge past wrongdoings, because someone else said in this thread, they are NEVER wrong.  

To be honest I don't really think there is any deeper meaning behind it. She simply didn't care that I was there. For her I am history, something from last year, an old chapter. As she said "this is my new life and I don't want you to be in it" when she told me that she has a new boyfriend.

I also don't have any feelings left for her, I noticed today because I calmed down pretty quickly. It was just the surprise because it was so unexpected. Well, no feeling would be wrong. I still scorn her for her behavior at the end of the relationship. But well... . she didn't care to see me again and I will try to not care either. We are history and today I was just reassured that it's better this way. I am glad I didn't invest any second longer into a person who claims to love me more than anything and treats me like air 9 month after.

I have been doing pretty well recently... . while she gained I lost a lot of weight since we broke up. While she will graduate next year cause she failed some classes I am graduating in a month and already found a job.

Next month I will finally go back to me home city and move out of this apartment where we lived together and close this chapter once for all.

Still funny, that just before I am about to leave for good, I finally ran into her after 9 month. For some moments I sometimes thought she thinks of me or has any regrets... . but no, she is that exact sick b!tch that I expected her to be after spending several month on this board.

It might seem like i am trying to fit my story to yours. but actually i really feel a lot of resemblance. I gained weight and getting better while i noticed that she has gained a lot of weight. she also got a tattoo (she used to tell me that tattoos are disgusting while i opposed this ). I am travelling to work in Dubai in a few weeks and will have a stable job and residence. She has escaped her family in Lebanon and is living on tourist visas between Egypt and USA. What a pathetic life really !

[dansure]

I just checked the pictures from last year. Exactly today one year ago she was lying in my bed and let me take care of her and told me that I was the best boyfriend in the world and that she never received this much kindness in her life.

But it was also one week ago from today last year that she told me that she never wants to date me again because of some minor fight we had. Ofc we got back together later on... .

It makes me remember the dynamics of of the relationships and how easily she could switch from loving and praising me to hating me and being ready to never see her again. Actually back then I already had a feeling that if we ever break up we will be like strangers.

And that's what we were today. Strangers that sit in front of each other and don't even look each other into the eye.

In a way it's sad. On the other hand I wouldn't wanna be friends with her or anything and I believe every contact her with her is toxic, may it be because she wants to rub her new relationship in my face or because she wants to charm me back.

I haven't been active on this board for over 2 month now, because I am reaching the point where I am almost completely healed. I won't this short meeting destroy my progress. It made me angry because some part in me hoped that she would still care in a way.

But no, the BPD reality hit me today. Once again she turned out to be predictable. Well, interestingly another thing about BPD I learned is:

They will never change, it's always about them, run as far and as long as you can.

And in 4 weeks from now I will literally do that!