staying sane

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I'm here in the undecided because I am not able to leave due to financial reasons, so I am trying to make the best of it while I get myself financially stable.  It will probably be about 12 months before I can go.  I am trying to be "normal" but when I do things for myself or detach in anyway he gets more difficult. 

Now his thing is sex... . We're not having it enough.  Because once a week, is all of the sudden not enough.  And when I say I'm not in the mood (which I've only said once to wait) he threatens he will go get it somewhere else.

I truly don't understand how people stay together with a BPD?

[FigureIt]

I'm here in the undecided because I am not able to leave due to financial reasons, so I am trying to make the best of it while I get myself financially stable.  It will probably be about 12 months before I can go.  I am trying to be "normal" but when I do things for myself or detach in anyway he gets more difficult. 

Now his thing is sex... . We're not having it enough.  Because once a week, is all of the sudden not enough.  And when I say I'm not in the mood (which I've only said once to wait) he threatens he will go get it somewhere else.

I truly don't understand how people stay together with a BPD?

[Perdita]

Now his thing is sex... . We're not having it enough.  Because once a week, is all of the sudden not enough.  And when I say I'm not in the mood (which I've only said once to wait) he threatens he will go get it somewhere else.

Would it bother you if he did?  I mean considering that you are planning to leave him once you are financially able to?  Does he know or suspect that you want out?  Do you think he will be OK with that?  If he is going to be difficult about it ... . it might be easier for you if he does find someone else to distract him and leave you be.

I truly don't understand how people stay together with a BPD?

I have no idea yet here I am.

[FigureIt]

I think it would bother me if he found someone else and tried to continue our relationship at the same time.  I may be organizing to leave, but I will not cheat on him.

I think he sort of gets I want out.  I've let him see how I'm unhappy instead of putting on the fascade all the time.  He does not like if I am "like him."  

In regards to being difficult... . Yes he will be extremely difficult.  That is why I can't leave until all my ducks are in a row.  I'm even expecting the "slander campaign" once I go.  He has already threatened me at times that he will say things to my ex-husband to "hurt my custody" of my child.  Although, there is nothing he could say that would do that.

--those threats (about my custody) I feel have what have completely damaged our relationship!