Her Lawyer Won the Battle

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

By not showing up!

Our final hearing isn't until next month. But their was a hearing scheduled for yesterday to a) get the GAL's report entered into evidence, b) hear the GAL's motion to collect fees in excess of the retainer, and c) hearing for the motion to compel discovery.  These were all, of course, things we wanted to see happen because the GAL report is favorable to us, the kid's BPD mom will probably end up having to pay some GAL fees, and its our motion to compel because she hasn't given us discovery which was due weeks ago.

Because we live so far away the court said we just had to send our L but that kid's mom and her L had to appear. Neither of them did!  Her L called in saying she'd *just*  taken on a new client who needed her to file an emergency custody motion in another county, so that's where she was! Our L and the GAL were both livid and the magistrate was unhappy as well. Still, the magistrate said she wouldn't move forward on anything without the other party present.  She even refused to read the GAL report! She said she won't read it until it's heard and at this point it won't be heard until trial. The BPD's lawyer assured the court that discovery will be in by next week. If not the only thing our L can do is try to file a motion about it again and hope she gets a date prior to trial.

We are fully aware that the magistrate just chose not to do anything about this and we are pretty irritated. We spent money to send our L to court and the BPD got charged for nothing but a phone call. The only good thing the magistrate had to say is that if that L pulls this during trial then BPD mom will be expected to go pro se, because that trial date is set in stone.

[Nope]

By not showing up!

Our final hearing isn't until next month. But their was a hearing scheduled for yesterday to a) get the GAL's report entered into evidence, b) hear the GAL's motion to collect fees in excess of the retainer, and c) hearing for the motion to compel discovery.  These were all, of course, things we wanted to see happen because the GAL report is favorable to us, the kid's BPD mom will probably end up having to pay some GAL fees, and its our motion to compel because she hasn't given us discovery which was due weeks ago.

Because we live so far away the court said we just had to send our L but that kid's mom and her L had to appear. Neither of them did!  Her L called in saying she'd *just*  taken on a new client who needed her to file an emergency custody motion in another county, so that's where she was! Our L and the GAL were both livid and the magistrate was unhappy as well. Still, the magistrate said she wouldn't move forward on anything without the other party present.  She even refused to read the GAL report! She said she won't read it until it's heard and at this point it won't be heard until trial. The BPD's lawyer assured the court that discovery will be in by next week. If not the only thing our L can do is try to file a motion about it again and hope she gets a date prior to trial.

We are fully aware that the magistrate just chose not to do anything about this and we are pretty irritated. We spent money to send our L to court and the BPD got charged for nothing but a phone call. The only good thing the magistrate had to say is that if that L pulls this during trial then BPD mom will be expected to go pro se, because that trial date is set in stone.

[ForeverDad]

There are Skirmishes, there are Battles but the War goes on.  I'm sure the court sees the delay attempts and obstructions.  It won't be noted in any decisions but it is background the court will remember.

And I bet her lawyer wasn't quizzed for details that could be used to verify L's claim, which county, which case... . they take the lawyer's claims at face value.

On the flip side, maybe it doesn't give the other side opportunity to officially oppose/sabotage the GAL's recommendation because it hasn't yet been 'heard' by the court?

I recall when I was before the magistrate back in October for my Motion to Modify Parenting Time, which by then was some 15 months since filing, the magistrate emphasized that we had 2 full days in court and not a minute more.  I bet you'll hear a stern advance warning similar to that when your case gets heard next month.

Also, in my case no decision was made at the hearing, a written decision was issued about 10 weeks later and then declared final a couple weeks later because no one objected within the 10 day objection period.  Maybe your case will get some immediate interim orders - such as that the children stay with your DH until a decision is made and any subsequent objections are handled - but I suspect you too will have to wait weeks for a written decision and then be on pins and needles a little longer wondering if it will be objected.  Hopefully it won't be too long, while the children will be with you and your husband for half of the summer you would still need time to register the children at your local school if the decision is favorable.

[david]

I filed to modify custody last August. Ex has dragged things out and we still have not had a hearing. Been to court twice but not in front of the judge because ex and her atty were able to delay. Delay is my ex's last tactic.                                                                                        We just finished, I believe, a custody eval and waiting for the report. That takes 4 to 6 weeks. I don't think ex can do much more to stop progress. I anticipate the eval report will be favorable for the kids and I. Fingers are crossed on that but I made my points and ex just accused me of abuse most of the time.

My main focus is on our kids and their schooling. The kids do over 90% of their homework when with me and ex has majority of time during the school year. Since last August when I filed things have remained the same ? Go figure. If we go to court I will make sure my atty says that loud and clear until the judge says uncle.

[Nope]

The magistrate just decided to add insult to injury. We just today found out from our L that the magistrate told her yesterday that we are to pay the excess GAL fees. The GAL's investigation has cost DOUBLE the retainer. This magistrate, who refused to hear the report because BPD mom's L didn't show up, said that if our allegations against BPD mom are true then we will get an order to have some of the money reimbursed.

Right. Like we'll ever see a penny. Of course, had the GAL's report been heard this wouldn't have happened. She would have been told then that she needed to pay the GAL directly and we wouldn't be left holding the bag. Our L keeps telling us that BPD mom's L is stupid and has a poor reputation. Really? I think she's doing a great job helping her client get away with everything.

[Matt]

File a motion asking to be reimbursed for all the costs you are paying due to the other party's behavior.  Keep asking;  you might get it in the end.

Also, you might consider filing a motion to depose the other party before the trial.  That might delay the trial, or maybe not, but either way, if the other party isn't coming clean you might be able to show that by getting her answers on record, and then investigating what she says between the deposition and the trial.  Show the other side that if you go to trial she will be exposed.

Will the GAL be able to testify at the trial?

Do you have a good plan for the trial - who will testify, what evidence will be used, etc.?  Is your lawyer experience with cases like this?

[broken3]

Nope,

Don't lose faith. It seems the courts just want things to go away and anyone with the deeper pockets has to pay no matter what. Whether it be right or wrong.Believe me I am almost broke fighting this.

So I shifted my thought process. Find an inexpensive lawyer and direct to file every contemptable action and legal action possible. Whether it be ( in my case) fraud, malicious persecution, vexatious litigation, grand theft, perjury, contempt etc.

I am known in the county courts as "that guy/case". The judges start seeing the real picture.

As sad as it may seem. They have a limited grasp and only see a minute picture that is presented to them. That is unless a complaint has been filed.

My 2 cents.

[PinkieV]

Our BM is very good at delaying and manipulating the court.  The judge knows this, issues a stern warning, but still gives her more time. Our final custody hearing date is "set in stone", but I'll believe it when we're in the courtroom.

This is our second judge, and both have urged us strongly to settle. We've done everything we can, she delays, and is rewarded. After the last hearing, her new lawyer suggested she'd settle with only a couple modifications to the proposed parenting plan, and we'd have them by the end of the week. Two weeks later, we received a ridiculous offer. We replied within 24 hours with a few modifications to the original plan.  The modifications were for SS14's travel so he wouldn't miss school or be exhausted upon his return.

We've purposely kept everything we do about HIS well-being, and have schooled our lawyer on BPD. At first he felt we had included too many details, but after seeing BM in action he's realized we're doing our best to avoid being in and out of court for the next four years. This last offer is it - if she tries to counter we will proceed to court and ask for every one of the GAL's recommendations. Supervised visitation, forensic psychiatric analysis, everything. Line in the sand, we're done playing.

Her boys deserve peace.

[Nope]

It is just so aggravating to me that the expectations of the magistrate are so low for her behavior and even her L's behavior. It's just hard because it's not like we are doing all of this and spending all of this money just to be difficult. There are real serious issues here. People shouldn't have to go bankrupt trying to save their kids.

It's also my hope that court is set in stone as promised. There will be no settlement. We go right for all of the GAL recommendations.

Sorry for being such a downer with this. It just felt like finally we were going to get some movement and instead everything was stalled again and somehow we still got kicked in the teeth.

[PinkieV]

I'm right there with you. Exhausted, frustrated, shocked at the court system. We too are just trying to protect the kids and be fair. Our trial date is in two weeks, the day before SS18's graduation. Ought to be a fun time. She's been on FB today crying about missing her baby boy - it's SS14's birthday. Yet she quit her job yesterday. Say what?  Posting things on FB to sell to raise money for her attorney and then quitting her job?  I hope this doesn't create some new way of delaying.