So in my recent posts I have mentioned that I am able to see pwBPD's Twitter feed which is littered with self righteous 'inspirational' quotes and quotes which clearly affirm just how much she hates me now, last night I looked again... . It's like a car crash syndrome, I know I shouldn't look but I can't help it.
Last nights nuggets of loveliness included:
'I'd rather be a silly old fool than a lonely old woman' (She told me durng her rage that I would be lonely with only my bitterness to keep me company)
'Honesty is an expensive gift, don't expect it from cheap people'
'Strong women don't point fingers or play the victim, they stand and deal with it' (She also told me I don't take any accountability for my actions and I like to play the victim).
So it's become clearer that she has devalued me as much as she can and she is openly expressing it on social media - It seems the longer we are NC (her choice), the more her opinion of me lowers and lowers.
So today I decided to deactivate my Twitter account so I am no longer tempted to look at whatever vile spew she posts about me and the breakdown of the relationship between us. I had her Blocked but was still able to see her feed so deactivation was the only way.
I feel good about it so far and free from her a little more.
I was just wondering if it is usual for pwBPD to devalue to Non more and more the longer NC continues?
Previously I was always the one to put the olive branch out to her if we had a disagreement regardless of whether me, her or both of us were at fault.
This is the first time in almost 20yrs I have not offered the olive branch and I have no intention of doing so on this occassion.
Is it possible that the 'push/pull' behaviourial tendencies for pwBPD means she is continuing devalue me and paint me blacker than black because I haven't gone back this time?
Is it possible that because I have gratified her this time, that this has ignited the feeling of abandonment?
Glitterbug,
I think it is awesome you deactivated your Twitter account. My sons mother has a Pinterest account, and one of her posts was something about letting go of the one who hurts you the most!
This burned me up, it made me wonder who was actually believing this, and it took me a while to understand she was doing this for her own survival. She needed to paint me black and start her smear campaign so she would like the one that was normal. No problems... . perfect. You see, it was me and my problems that tore a family apart.
You are on the right track. I needed to stop looking at her FB and Pinterest pages. And when I did, and stopped caring she stepped it up a notch. She started bringing him places where she knew I would be with my son, like his baseball games. Now, it's been a while, AND I can truly tell you, I just don't care anymore. If, I see, a picture of them, it doesn't affect me anymore. If he shows up with a football to throw with my son, I laugh! I laugh because no matter what he does or what she tries to manipulate, I'm the dad! Número uno!
She even made up stuff to get the courts to see me in a bad light, but that blew up in her face and now it's all about boundaries and my son!
But I had to give myself time to work on me. I had to search deep down, look at my part in all if this, see the truth, and keep walking. I'm a good man. I know now my life has never been better without her, but it did take walking through the pain to see I've never been better.
She wants to triangulate. She wants to put the two of us against each other. She wants to keep the bad blood between us. This is how she stepped it up a notch, I suppose. I heard it best, if she is great at
Triangulation , give her nothing to triangulate about! What a friggin awesome insight... . and I can say, I actually like the guy. Without him, I would t have something wonderful with my son. And besides, he successful, genuinely I believe likes my son, so what do I really have to be mad at him about?
Keep your distance. Continue NC. More will be revealed. You will become strong again. More confident... . and the healthy women will be drawn to you. And then... . take your pick. You can actually see them looking at you. And then, well, she won't matter.
Arn
