A breif over view for you... .
3 Young women, all friends for almost 20yrs, been through hell and high water together, have been there for each other (some more than others), huge argument between myself and pwBPD after she gas lit over something so trivial, she raged, I retaliated, Accused of things I didn't say or do, Blocked and deleted without hesitation, and told never to contact her again.
All this witnessed by our mutul friend who is the 3rd person in this crazy triangulated dynamic.
It is only since joing here that I have learnt about
Triangulation and it has answered so many questions!
Following the initial fall out, the 3 rd friend agreed that I wasn't to blame for what happened and although I did retaliate, I was within my rights to defend myself as pwBPD was being completey unreasonable and disrespectful.
3rd friend lives with pwBPD as she is currently having financial diffiulties. I have not seen either of them for almost 5 months.
I now understand that was often painted white by pwBPD as she would often initiate negative conversations with me regarding our 3rd friend - It would often cebtre around how she thought she was selfish and inconsiderate, how she didn't pull her weight with the house work and how she avoided paying her share of the rent ect.
She would always initite this types of conversations with me first and it's now becoming lear that this was her painting our 3rd friend black whilst she favoured me as her confidant and 'go to' when she was in need.
Since it is now my turn to be painted black, I have noticed on social media that they are hangingout together all the time, and she is uploading 'inspirational' quotes which refer to best friend being like sisters and how our 3rd friend knows all her stories because she has lived them all with her ect (this same friend didn't agree when pwBPD got preganant at 18 and it took her almost 3yrs to accept that pwBPD had a child!).
So amongst my sadness, I'm starting to get really angry with both of them!
The pwBPD because she would bad mouth her now 'best friend/sisiter' to me all the time and now she can do no wrong as she is of course my replacement.
I am angry with our 3rd friend because she openly agree with me the day following the argument and validated my thoughts that pwBPD was being really unreasonable and unkind and she even said at the time 'oh yeah she has been looking for an argument for weeks!'
She could've stepped in to try and bring it to a close and resolve it from an objective point of view but instead she has just chosen to ignore my existance and take her position on her brilliant white throne whilst I am left to rot, alone.
I won't do it but a part of me wants to expose them to each other and say 'look, she talks ___ about you behind your back and she agreed you were in the wrong on the night of the argument but is to frightened to say anything'... . I won't but I want to.
Now I can see it from both sides and the crazy BPD tune that I have been dancing to for almost 20yrs.
