My daughter's story

[selusha]

My daughter is 27. She was diagnosed with depression when she was 14, although, we noticed her having some issues throughout her childhood.  She did not accept this for years; and didn’t want to take medication. Her diagnosis has evolved to major depression with anxiety, to possible bipolar, and now she’s been diagnosed with BPD.

She’s always had troubles with relationship, especially her relationship with me. There has always been is a lot of tension between us, which no one can seem to understand, including me. I too, suffer from depression & always assumed she inherited it from. I don’t know if that’s part of it.  As her mom, I have desperately tried to assist her in getting the help she needs to be healthy & lead a peaceful, fulfilling, loving life that brings her joy for 13 plus years.

Her condition has gone from bad to worse since 2010. But, this last year & a half has really escalated things. She quit her job on the east coast & impulsively moved in with a guy she hadn’t known for long. Sadly, it was a physically & emotionally abusive relationship. The boyfriend smoked marijuana multiple times a day & she started to do the same. Also, she abused her anti-anxiety medication, & alcohol, etc. She left him after a traumatic physical abusive incident & moved in with a friend. She had a full blown manic episode out there & threatened to kill herself.  We finally convinced her to come home & get treatment. We tried to get her inpatient treatment, but she refused. Sadly, she overdosed & attempted suicide on 2/14/14. She went from our local hospital ER to ICU, & to the psychiatric unit there. Somehow we got her to agree to go to a “Dual Diagnosis” treatment center in Florida. She refused to admit that she may have substance abuse problem in addition to mental health issues. She was there for over 40 days. Then she went to live at a halfway house & go to an IOP in Fl. She kept crying to me & begging to come home, but she wasn’t ready. Devastatingly, she overdosed & attempted suicide again on 5/7/14. I flew down there & found a great residential “Dual Diagnosis” treatment center. Again she’s begging to come home, but we are insisting that she at least do the 28 day minimum program, which will end on 6/5/14. We’ll reevaluate her condition then. Living at home with my husband & I is not a healthy environment for her to get well. We really don’t know what the next step should be. However the most pressing issue is whether or not she’ll be healthy & stable enough to be in her only sister’s wedding in mid-July. She’s supposed to be the maid of honor, but has not been able to participate in anything related to the wedding.  It’s been quite a conundrum for all of us!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[JulyZZ]

You sound so strong and loving selusha, it must be hard with your other daughters special day to think about. What does the bride think? Could she ride it out if her sister showed up as her usual impulsive self?

[corraline]

Dear susha,                 


Hello and welcome to to BPD Family,

I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time with your daughter.  It sounds like you have been working very hard to help her.  It's a good thing that you have found us here as you will find tools and resources you need to support you in all of this.  There are many other members on this site that  have experienced situations similar to yours.  You are not alone.

When a child suffers from BPD (even our adult child), not only is the child unhappy and unhealthy, but often, so is everyone who loves them. This mental illness can severely affect everyone, creating drama and heartbreak, while also piling on the guilt and anxiety. The good news is that there are answers to these problems, and we are here to offer you the support and encouragement to help you find them. You'll see that there are things that can be done to stop making things worse and begin to make them better. I encourage you to have a look at the following links i have provided. What can a parent do? We look forward to seeing you on the Parenting a Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD board and hope you join us in learning how to understand and communicate with our children better.

Please keep posting - it is very therapeutic, and you will be greeted by so many people with circumstances similar to your own.

Take good care of yourself selusha.

corraline

[peaceplease]

selusha,

  I would like to join JulyZZ and corraline in welcoming you to bpdfamily.  I am glad that you joined us. 

I am sorry about your daughter.  Was she recently diagnosed with BPD where she is at, now?   If so, do they offer a therapy there for BPD?

I have an adult daughter(29)  with suspect BPD.  She is an addict in methadone treatment. I can recall her begging to come home when she was in drug rehab. But, within two weeks, she was glad that I refused, and wanted to stay longer.   She was never in any other type of residential treatment.  IMHO, 28 days is not enough for any type of treatment.  How is she progressing in her treatment at facility?

I hope you will join us at the parents board.  Please continue to post.  We are here for you.

peaceplease