Having a bad day

[pschris]

Today has been a very difficult one. We have been married just about 6 years and I have known something has not been right for the last couple. Today my wife is cycled on and it is all my fault because she did not sleep good last night.  I did not do anything wrong. She just left to a friends house which is best before things get worse. I am committed to staying at least for another year. 

It is lonely being home alone.  I am in therapy learning the DBT skills. It is extremely hard just to realize I did not cause anything and I have nothing to do with her problem but I get blamed for it anyway.

All I can do is take care of myself.

Chris

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[nothing]

I see this as P.R.S The old problem reaction solution. The BPD creates a Problem (cant sleep), they React to it (its all your fault) then they give you the Solution to the problem (I am going to my friends house).

It is just a form of manipulation to get a end result that they want.

I would be curious as to what they are doing at the friends house. I know if my BPD left it was to be free to do all of the irresponsible things BPDs like to do without you stopping them.

Again not a expert I just go by my personal experiences.

[pschris]

You may be right.  Maybe she just wanted to go out tonight. The thing is I am leaving on a business trip the next three days and really wanted to spend some time with  her before I left.  She went out last night and then again tonight. I wonder how much fun she could have when she is cycled on.  It is really a benefit to me not to be around her when she is like this.  the other thing is that over the last year she has gotten progressively worse.  That scares me. I hope that by me learning DBT skills it will help our relationhip.  HOPE!