Oops, I broke NC.

[Eric1]

I haven't really been counting anymore , which is a statement in itself. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say it's been 3-4 weeks. We've both blocked each other's numbers & whatsapp, so there really isn't anyway. But, I emailed.

She paid the money that she owes, which was good. However , her festival ticket along with her friends got posted to my house.

All I said was - Thanks for transferring the money.  Your ticket was posted to mine, so I'll drop it round your brothers over the weekend. Hope you're good.  Eric.

Obviously I've had no reply. It wasn't really open for a response.

I'm still thinking about her daily. Dreams aren't filled with her, but for the passed 3 days I've woken up in a pool of sweat after having night tremors.

I know that there won't be a recycle & she's moved on. It's just taking me a little longer.

[Blimblam]

I feel for you.  When you leave that message and you have the anxious hopes of things going back to how they were.  The desire to be recycled. Then it haunts you.

The thing is there is nothing to go back to. Deep down you know this and it hurts. I think It has been 3 weeks nc and it is still awfull but bearable.

Just know that each contact will bring you days, even weeks months or years of anxiety pain and suffereing.

[Red Sky]

Is there any way that you could post, even fedex, those tickets to her and avoid seeing her, or even wherever she's living? I think it could make things easier on you.

Hang in there!

Red

[Eric1]

I wont have to see her as she doesn't live with her Brother. I'm hoping she doesn't go to the festival because even though there will be another 140,000 people, i'll be with her Bro & i expect she'll want to see him at some point.

[Tausk]

I wont have to see her as she doesn't live with her Brother. I'm hoping she doesn't go to the festival because even though there will be another 140,000 people, i'll be with her Bro & i expect she'll want to see him at some point.

Do you think your friend could get another sister for the day? 

Stay strong. You're doing it.  We all are. 

PTSD from the trauma bond takes time to heal.  But, as we heal we gain from the pain.  We understand more of ourselves,  And we now have the chance to actually be the person we wanted to be when we had the false self for all to see.  And we now have the chance to love and understand others as we wanted to be loved by our exes. 

Which leaves us open to people of substance loving and understand us.

[Eric1]

Her not responding just reinforces that she's done for good.

I'll carry on my path of healing, even tho its slow.

[Eric1]

Shouldn't have sent that email. She didn't reply & now I keep checking constantly to see if she has.

[Red Sky]

Shouldn't have sent that email. She didn't reply & now I keep checking constantly to see if she has.

Stay strong! Keep plodding! Eventually that urge will go away too... .