Someone has been viewing my profile on Linkedin anonymously?

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

Hey guys,


I just noticed and realized someone has been viewing my profile anonysmously. I am sure it is my Crazy ex. Who else would do that on a media site? I can tell she is checking on me... . Sigh

[Red Sky]

Possibly. Possibly not. It is LinkedIn. Could be a colleague deliberating on whether to add you. The fact is, though, that you'll probably never know, frustrating though it is. Maybe avoid checking?

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

Hi RedSky,

Who knows really. It is frustrating tho. no one has ever done that on my profile. It just adds up. Its been a month since my ex and I broke up. My profile views from this person show from a month and a week ago. Buty yeah, I dont use facebook, so I think she seems to be checking on me on Linkedin.  I actually didnt check on there. I clicked on the link of the peoplethat had viewed my profile and I saw the anonymous profile checks.

[AwakenedOne]

Hey Notsure,

I think this one is probably just a random person and not her. I do internet searches looking for future business contacts and try to get address and email info on companies. I sometimes get info from Linked In. I'm not registered there though. I guess my visits to those pages would be listed as anonymous also. Probably in this way somebody looked you up or something who knows. By the way how are you doing personally, you hanging in there?

Peace,

AO

[Dutched]

I agree with RedSky  it is possible or maybe not

I have had anonymously viewers too, maybe a Headhunter?

You can use the regular offer of Linkedin to upgrade your account for a month, than you are able to see.

My full profile is hidden when not logged in at Linkedin.

EX, viewed my profile recently (so she was logged on…), although high functioning she is to blunt to understand the full working of Linkedin

Just “nice” to know some one is interested… specially an ex when they don’t have other resources to keep track on you…

For that I broke NC and mailed ex, incl. a screenshot made with SnagIt of her recent “visit”… asking why she couldn’t resist as I am totally split black…  no answer of course…

Relax, don’t worry about it. 

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

Hey AO,

I am hurting. Its been a month I havent seen her. I know that she is with some dude or screwing guys every weekend now. That is what she wanted, so now she can have the fun she wanted I suppose. I have resigned myself this is the way it is. The last time I talked to her via text, I told her that if she ever needed something from me to contact me. To be honest, I hope she does not contact me really, because that is more pain coming my way.

I am working out a lot and hanging out with friends to forget about her. I do still think about her a lot man. It's just how it is I guess. I am thinking that its better to go thru this now than later on. At some point this was going to happen anyway. I am just thinking that I will see her sometime this summer hammered at one of the clubs in town or somewhere and I will have to leave (just like her ex used to do when he saw us together). Now, I see why he did that the two times he saw us. Now, I see that he was hurting and didnt want to keep suffering when he saw her with me. BTW! She has lost a lot of friends over the years. She doesnt have too many GFs really. (just 2 skank friends she talks to only) I found out that she has alot of stand by guys waiting to take a piece of her when she becomes single. doesns't she get that at all?  My question is... . Wouldn't she feel used by any of these guys? I dont get she doesnt get that, she is not that young really. Is she going to be doing this untill she turns old? crazy really.

I met a girl 3 weeks ago, she asked me to go for coffee. I went for coffee with her, the whole coffee "date" was just boring. I went home dissapointed, I am not seeing this girl again. Maybe I need to spend time on my own and just be single this summer and hang out with my friends. I cut my friends out of my life when I was with my ex.  So I think I will hang out with my friends and visit my family more .

[AwakenedOne]

My question is... . Wouldn't she feel used by any of these guys? I dont get she doesnt get that, she is not that young really. Is she going to be doing this untill she turns old? crazy really.

She is probably going to end up with no one when she is old. She will destroy all her relationships and or they won't want her. If she's anything like my ex I'd say she's just thinking about herself and her pleasure. It doesn't matter what people she uses think of her. It matters a lot to her what the ones that she really values think of her. I know that sounds strange though. I'm describing my ex, maybe or probably yours is the same?

Sorry your hurting. What I do is think of all the nasty, hateful, and sick stuff my wife did and that helps the hurt to slowly fade.

Summer with your friends sounds cool, live it up and be happy. Maybe you will meet some cool girl a long the way this summer.

Peace,

AO

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

AO,

Hopefully I meet someone decent.I'm not 25 anymore tho and scares me a bit to be honest. But I haven't lost hope yet . Time will tell.

[Dutched]

Hé Notsure

I know it might not be of any help, but many us are not 25 anymore.  I am mid 50… +3yrs out of + 30 yrs. r/s

It is an awful hard experience, a long way to process all.

The anger, grieve, the future, scary as all our dreams all we believed in, all we thought we had together, the impact on the life of my kids, etc., all is suddenly gone.

Gone in the most devastating way (me, it was over in a blink of an eye)

Some days we need a tow car to help us from the couch to the kitchen, only now and then we manage it on our own. We can’t sleep, wake up soaking wet if we did get some sleep, night by night, month after month.

Day by day it is getter better, let all come out !

In a few month you amaze yourself of how far you are! Months later again!

Yes, on some days you probably will fall back into intense anger, intense grieve, into that darkness.

Doesn’t matter, let it go an give yourself the luxury to do that!

And meeting another woman? Well think about yourself, but please do not rush into a r/s as comfort, as replacement. You are to valuable for that, the woman is to valuable for that.

[heartandwhole]

I am hurting. Its been a month I havent seen her.

Hi Notsure,

Detachment is really hard, and I'm sorry you are hurting.  I've definitely been there, and went through a period of resignation, like you seem to be feeling now.  I want you to know that it really does get better.  It did for me, and many other members.  Some come back here from time to time to post about how life is so much better now, but many of them are too busy living their lives without the roller coaster anymore.  

Maybe I need to spend time on my own and just be single this summer and hang out with my friends. I cut my friends out of my life when I was with my ex.  So I think I will hang out with my friends and visit my family more .

This sounds like a good plan, surrounding yourself with people who care about you and are supportive.  It's only been a month, Notsure, so be gentle with yourself.  Grieving takes time and has ups and downs.  

We're here for you.

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

Dutched-

Wow, 30+ years?... Wow. your situation seems a bit tougher than mine. I dont have any kids with her. Thank god really. It is just tough to know that she is with some other dude or dudes.  I saw her car today, I go to the same gym she goes to and brought some back some memories. I avoid going to the gym when she is there. I know her schedule. But it is tough. It sucks because I really enjoy going that gym and the equipment is the best in the ciy I think.



heartandwhole-

I know as well that has to get betther from here. I mean, can it get any worse? All I am doing now is replaying in my head all the crap she put me through. I've been with girls, but this one really put me thru the ringer. The sad part is that I allowed it. She cheated on me and I stayed trying to salvage the relationship. Now, that she is gone, I am reaizing that she never gave a crap about me... . It was about all the good sex we had. she kept telling me that I was the best sex she's ever had. I wonder now how many guys she's told that too. Her beauty was enchanting if that makes sense, I put up with her because she was a good looking girl... . Sad really!  I know that in 2 or 3 months she will be contacting me because her replacement had enough and left. (or maybe not).I hope I am ready to ignore her then and keep moving forward.

[AwakenedOne]

 

AO,

Hopefully I meet someone decent.I'm not 25 anymore tho and scares me a bit to be honest. But I haven't lost hope yet . Time will tell.

I feel like I am 100 yrs old after living through 4 years of hell with my uBPDstbxw. It's good you both ended in a semi civil way. It seems you don't hate each other or anything and it was a civil parting right?

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

AO,

I would say it was a civil parting yeah. I dont hate her, I love her still really. I think she basically called it quits because I got mad and confronted her about her behaviour (Untill now I think I had the right to do so). She was coming home drunk and caused our relationship a lot of stress and drama. I still believe she loves/loved me ( maybe I am in denial). But I believe she wanted to keep partying and hanging out. whereas myself I wanted to settle a bit more. The relationship was doomed from the get go really. I never trusted her. I knew that she slept with her las ex's friends and I was not going to take that chance. So I stopped hanging out with my buddies because I knew that she was going to pull the same stunt. Being Honest.

She used to tell me "how come we dont hang out with your friends" I always told her that they were busy. Which losts of times they were. Also, my friends didnt like her because the one time we went out together she was very flirtitious with one of my best buddies. A buddy I consider my brother, a good looking dude, told me "She is very flirtitious man" So I wonder if she flirted with him. who knows... .

I dont know how she is going to stop acting and hurting her boyfriends. What is it going to take for her to stop that? I don't really know. All I know is that I tried to salvage the relationship as much as I could.

It's sad because she actually comes from a decent family. I would say she is the black sheep in that family really. Cute girl with a dark lost soul!

AO,

Hopefully I meet someone decent.I'm not 25 anymore tho and scares me a bit to be honest. But I haven't lost hope yet . Time will tell.

I feel like I am 100 yrs old after living through 4 years of hell with my uBPDstbxw. It's good you both ended in a semi civil way. It seems you don't hate each other or anything and it was a civil parting right?

[AwakenedOne]

Hey Notsure,

I understand you still loving her. It takes a while for that to go away. My wife did me like an animal. I loved her at the exact moment she abandoned me 100%. Over 9 months thankfully the love is faded somewhere near 0-2%. I'm trying to stomp out the last 2% in my mind. Who knows maybe I'm already at 0%. Faded love is easier to deal with.  

Your buddies sound really cool and honest. That's good you have them. You'll meet someone when you least expect it. Probably like you met her. In the long run I'm sure you know your better off. Is this the type of woman you want to grow old with? If you are bed bound in a nursing home she's going to help feed you?  We got to just really take our time with who we date and really get to know them and find someone that doesn't bring all this grief to the table right?

Peace,

AO

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

AO,

I went to college with my buddy, so yeah I trust him. He saw what she was all about. What is keeping me sane right now is that I know that, if she would have not broken up with me I would still be there in the same stressfull situation. Its amazing how much weight I lost. In one month that we have not been together I already gained 5 pounds. I am in recovery mode thats for sure. I think I aged 5 years in the 2 years we were together.

Here is more:

People at work were asking me how come I was losing so much weight, some people were asking me if I had a serious health issue. I sort of lied and said that I was watching my diet. They didnt know I was under a lot of stress, I lost my apetite. I didnt eat 2 or 3 days sometimes... . I was just not hungry.  Not even thirsty. I didnt drink water for like 3 days sometimes, I couldnt sleep. I used to get up and go to work with 2 hours of sleep feeling like death. That went for weeks... . Complete truth. I was so lost. I stayed because I loved that woman. I put my healfth at risk because of love. I somehow I knew that our break up was going to come sooner or later. I knew she was going to break up with me for good or I was going to have some serious health breakdown.  So yeah... . Whoever came up with the term "Emotional Vampire" is a genius man/girl. He/she should be knighted. The thing is that I still miss that girl every hour of the day right now... .

[AwakenedOne]

Whoever came up with the term "Emotional Vampire" is a genius man/girl. He/she should be knighted.

Yeah find things to take your mind off her some, even for a few hours each day, I know it's hard though. I play guitar, that's my main escape. I have increased my skills a ton since the breakup. Good your gaining some of that weight back. I tried working out but somehow I was thinking of her when I do that. I play guitar and that involves the mind so much that it left no room in my mind to think of her or her bs.

Are you prepared what you'd do if in a week she wants back together with you?

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

Funny you say about playing guitar.

I play guitar as well. I even stopped playing it and practicing . I am going to practice a lot more that I am by myself. I am working out a lot too for the summer. I am going to try to visit friends and just try to keep busy.

In all honesty... . I woudnt know what to do... . I am sure I would just tell her that we are better off not being together. For some reason , that day is going to come... . She did it to her ex... . She begged her ex to take her back and I believe he just gave up. There is no cure for her. There is no cure for us. I think she is gone anywyas... . I'll send you a pvt message... .

Whoever came up with the term "Emotional Vampire" is a genius man/girl. He/she should be knighted.

Yeah find things to take your mind off her some, even for a few hours each day, I know it's hard though. I play guitar, that's my main escape. I have increased my skills a ton since the breakup. Good your gaining some of that weight back. I tried working out but somehow I was thinking of her when I do that. I play guitar and that involves the mind so much that it left no room in my mind to think of her or her bs.

Are you prepared what you'd do if in a week she wants back together with you?

[asher2]

I posted this last week, but I saw last week that my ex viewed my profile two days after she got married (not an anonymous view... . it was 100% her profile). I was stunned to see it (haven't spoken to her in about a year and a half). I'm not sure about you, but of all the things I'd think to do two days after getting married, it wouldn't be to look up old girlfriends on LinkedIn.

Being fairly certain she has BPD, this behavior doesn't surprise me though. My guess is she is scared out of her mind she married now and she purposefully viewed my profile so I could see that she was looking at it. It was a safe way to reach out to me. It was also a way to reach out to me without doing so in a way that could be construed as "cheating" (in her mind, she didn't email me, didn't text me, didn't call me... . ).

It's amazing what these people will do.