I must be nuts

[co.jo]

Today I will be flying across the country  at a cost of $1500 plus for flight and hotel, to watch my daughter graduate from university. I do not expect to speak to her as she is n/c, so it is a huge amount of money for her 5 seconds on stage. Still, I thought it over, and decided it felt far worse not to go than to go. I will return home the next day. I will text her after the ceremony, and just congratulate her and let her know I was there, but I am sure she still won't see me.

Gee, she is still costing me money even when she isn't speaking to me! Anyway, I hope it will be ok. It feels right for me to go. Wish me luck!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[InnerSpin]

Good luck, co-jo. I'm new here, but can imagine the turbulent past you've had with her. I think you're doing the right thing. It's something that will matter more in the future than now. BTW you're not nuts!

[femom]

Congratulations and you are NOT nuts for going to see your daughter's graduation.  I can only imagine the journey to arrive at this point and this moment has as much meaning for you as it does for your daughter.  Celebrate her achievement because it belongs to you too!

[Someday . . .]

I just wanted to let you know that you are in good company!  I have been 'nuts' on many occasions.

I tend to feel, that if I DON'T go, that's its a bigger 'wrench' thrown into our relationship than if I do go . . .I have been there and done that. 

May you enjoy the trip . . in whatever way you can!

[pessim-optimist]

Congratulations co.jo! It is wonderful that you decided to do this - you say that it feels worse not to go than to go - that's the important part and reason.

Congrats to your daughter, I hope today is going well for you. 

[peaceplease]

co.jo,


I do not think you are nuts.  You would feel worse not to go, than to go is the only right decision.  I hope all goes well for you!

peaceplease

[tristesse]

I would also go, you are far from being nuts. Congratulations to the graduate as well, that is quite an accomplishment.

Good Luck to you.

[lever.]

You're far from nuts co-jo. I imagine that your emotions will be mixed but in the future she will be aware that you made the effort.

[Joey2008]

I'm very new at this, but I don't think you're nuts at all. If she won't let you do it for her, then doing it for yourself makes sense to me. Safe travels. I hope all goes well.

[PaulaJeanne]

Not nuts co.jo, I would do the same thing. No matter what goes on I try to always take the high road & show my unconditional love. My thought process is even tho there's NC, you're demonstrating what a true parental love looks like. It means your door is open. One day maybe she'll walk through that door, or walk in your shoes and realize that what you did out of love by stuffing aside your own pride to witness her accomplishment.

[scudrunner]

I don't think you're nuts; you're a  parent.  Good luck.   

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[MammaMia]

cojo

If at all possible, find a way to your dd know you are at the graduation even if you do not speak to her.  Just the fact that you are there may open new doors. Do not get in her face, just make her aware you are physically there.   

Take pride in knowing you are an awesome parent and you love her, even from a distance.  Do this for you.  Even if she does not respond, you have done the right thing.

God bless you and keep you safe on your journey.