IMHO, using, as I am to understand, physical distance to control and punish.
Unfortunately, that issue is a difficult one to address with boundaries.
The boundary enforcement I can think of is something like this: If you push me away like this, I will protect myself by not being in a relationship with you.
Ending the r/s is a really tough boundary. (Also one we don't recommend on the staying board.)
Boundary enforcement is good at taking yourself out of the consequences of bad behavior. What it cannot do is create good (or desired) behavior in another person.
What you can do about this is change how you think of it and react to it.
For one thing, you know she is keeping physical distance. What you don't know is WHY she is doing it. It may not be to control or punish you. My guess is that is not a motivation she would admit to, even to herself, but you really don't know. In addition, you get a choice to be punished by it, or to let yourself be controlled by it, or the fear of it.
If she goes away for a week or two, find things you enjoy doing without her during that time. (If you already have solo activities you enjoy regularly, it is easier because you can just do more of them.)
If you have a problem with her txts when she is otherwise staying at a distance, think about how you respond to them... . or decide that you do enjoy that sort of contact with her and let it be as it is.
