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Author Topic: My engaged exBPD wife is making my Facebook posts to her public  (Read 533 times)
expos
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
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« on: June 12, 2014, 12:06:46 PM »

My engaged exBPD wife is making my Facebook posts to her public two years after we’ve split.

My current relationship is going good.  We are 9 months in and I believe I’m really getting better overall as a person.  I’ve relocated and I’ve got a new job as well.  My life is satisfying and I’ve recovered.

So I know that my ex-wife is engaged to the guy she got with during our separation.  I stay off her Facebook page and completely ignore his as well.   Mine is quite private - but my Instagram is public.

So I logged in the other day and couldn’t resist the temptation.  Nothing was really visible, except the fact that my posts to her were now public when they never used to be.  I remember visiting her Facebook page after she de-friended me and none of this was visible before.   I don’t know the status of her relationship or why she has decided to do this.

What is going on here? 

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LettingGo14
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2014, 12:18:11 PM »

My engaged exBPD wife is making my Facebook posts to her public two years after we’ve split.

My current relationship is going good.  We are 9 months in and I believe I’m really getting better overall as a person.  I’ve relocated and I’ve got a new job as well.  My life is satisfying and I’ve recovered.

So I know that my ex-wife is engaged to the guy she got with during our separation.  I stay off her Facebook page and completely ignore his as well.   Mine is quite private - but my Instagram is public.

So I logged in the other day and couldn’t resist the temptation.  Nothing was really visible, except the fact that my posts to her were now public when they never used to be.  I remember visiting her Facebook page after she de-friended me and none of this was visible before.   I don’t know the status of her relationship or why she has decided to do this.

What is going on here? 

as a technical matter, it could mean she has "unblocked" you on FB and, hence, you now see the posts you made on her page, whereas when "blocked" it hides everything from your view.  facebook makes a distinction between unfriended and blocked that has technical implications.

not sure it has any other meaning.

as a practical matter, as you say, your life is satisfying and you've recovered.  that is something to celebrate. 


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expos
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 213


« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2014, 01:24:12 PM »

as a technical matter, it could mean she has "unblocked" you on FB and, hence, you now see the posts you made on her page, whereas when "blocked" it hides everything from your view.  facebook makes a distinction between unfriended and blocked that has technical implications.

not sure it has any other meaning.

as a practical matter, as you say, your life is satisfying and you've recovered.  that is something to celebrate. 

Hey!  No, she has never blocked me.  She just removed me as friend after we divorced. 

After she unfriended me, her public view was empty.  In the last week, I noticed that everything I had wrote, has magically appeared on her wall.   She still has made all of her other posts and photos and private.  But now, everything I have written is available.   What the heck. 
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LettingGo14
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2014, 01:27:44 PM »

Hey!  No, she has never blocked me.  She just removed me as friend after we divorced. 

After she unfriended me, her public view was empty.  In the last week, I noticed that everything I had wrote, has magically appeared on her wall.   She still has made all of her other posts and photos and private.  But now, everything I have written is available.   What the heck. 

Can you have a friend, who is not her friend, check to see if they are public, or only public to you?  For the record, FB has way too many settings.   I've noticed, for instance, that people who post things on my wall can see those things, but that others cannot -- based on my settings. 

Agree that it's odd.  Not sure what it means.


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expos
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
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« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2014, 02:26:54 PM »

I want to reply that she has taken it down, or hidden my posts now.  Like I said before they were not visible to begin with, they appeared, then they went away.  So, it looks like she's doing something.  I also noticed some activity on my website from her address a few months back.

I also know that she used to be really active on Facebook.  Changing her profile pic, posting photos, etc.   It's been basically the same photo for two years now.   Weird.

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MommaBear
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorce in progress
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« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2014, 04:32:12 PM »

I want to reply that she has taken it down, or hidden my posts now.  Like I said before they were not visible to begin with, they appeared, then they went away.  So, it looks like she's doing something.  I also noticed some activity on my website from her address a few months back.

I also know that she used to be really active on Facebook.  Changing her profile pic, posting photos, etc.   It's been basically the same photo for two years now.   Weird.

Ugh. This is EXACTLY the reason I avoid his page at all costs. They do things, and we're probably left trying to crack the code of crazy going on in their minds for longer than they even think of us.

Do yourself a favor, and block her. Out of sight, out of mind. You deserve better, and you HAVE better. I know it's tempting, but sometimes it does nothing but get under our skin and make us crazy. And we ALL need a little less crazy in our lives, I think!
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