To all the Dads out there = greatest lesson I learned

[Madison66]

On Father's Day, I wanted to share the greatest lesson I have learned from my healing/detachment from my uBPD/NPD ex gf of 3 years and from continued T to deal with co-dependency.  It is simply that you cannot be the best person, the best man (talking to the guys here), the best father, the best employee, the best follower of your God, the best neighbor, the best anything IF you don't first take care of yourself!  You can't heal and detach for other people!  You must do it for yourself SO you can be the best for others in your life.  That starts with self love and acceptance.  Then, we can project and share that love and acceptance especially with your children!

I found it impossible to do this while I allowed myself to participate in an unhealthy and abusive r/s.  Being out of that r/s going on 7 months, I can tell you that this is a true statement.  What I also know to be true is that the ripple effects of the decision I made 7 months ago to leave the r/s and to finally take care of myself will go on for a lifetime and hopefully touch countless lives.  None more important than my daughter's life and probably her kid's lives.  I feel like I am modeling for her in so many ways. 

So, please, please, please Dad's out there think about the importance of our role in so many lives and how we need to be our best to truly be there for others!  Think about that as a guide to decisions we make now and in the future, and for how we choose to live our lives.  Maybe that will help us all put in perspective some of the craziness of the past and the healthy and happy days to come.

Happy Father's Day all!

[woodsposse]

 

Very wonderful words!  Happy fathers day to you as well.