Make yourself happy

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

It's been a while since i've posted here. Been reading very intresting books about pwBPD, done a lot of selfevaluation and had to deal with a big loss from a family-member.

During this period (and over the last 2 years) my expwBPD reaches out every now and then basicly it comes down to give her some attention and/or care for her while she has a relationship. I hardly didnt make any initiative anymore but when she reaches out i reply... . and then she starts complaining how all people leave her, how good she is for everyone, poor her... . Very clear patterns and rollercoasters.

So it hit me recently, when i lost a very important person in my family she was one of the first to call me. And it felt genuine, which was a support. But again... very short empathy because eversince when she did reach out, no more support, her needs again, and no intrest on my state... .   Like nothing serious happend in my life. I dont need her to fill my needs, it just shows again how poor her care towards me is. The good thing is that i realized how i've grown. How i dont need her to get some support. And how i care about myself to see and feel that i dont depend on her anymore when it comes to my happiness.

I care about me again and because of that i see things clear on who lives with the same values in my life. Those are the people i like to be around. They show respect, care, honestly,... and they are there unconditionally! More then ever those are my values and my friends. People who dont give me stress are such a gift to cherish.

I does get better people, read, evaluate yourself, hobbies, work, travel... there will be a day when it just doesnt matter anymore what they do or dont do (indifference). Make yourself happy.

Note: "Stop caretaking... . from "Fjestad": great book!

[icecream]

It's been a while since i've posted here. Been reading very intresting books about pwBPD, done a lot of selfevaluation and had to deal with a big loss from a family-member.

During this period (and over the last 2 years) my expwBPD reaches out every now and then basicly it comes down to give her some attention and/or care for her while she has a relationship. I hardly didnt make any initiative anymore but when she reaches out i reply... . and then she starts complaining how all people leave her, how good she is for everyone, poor her... . Very clear patterns and rollercoasters.

So it hit me recently, when i lost a very important person in my family she was one of the first to call me. And it felt genuine, which was a support. But again... very short empathy because eversince when she did reach out, no more support, her needs again, and no intrest on my state... .   Like nothing serious happend in my life. I dont need her to fill my needs, it just shows again how poor her care towards me is. The good thing is that i realized how i've grown. How i dont need her to get some support. And how i care about myself to see and feel that i dont depend on her anymore when it comes to my happiness.

I care about me again and because of that i see things clear on who lives with the same values in my life. Those are the people i like to be around. They show respect, care, honestly,... and they are there unconditionally! More then ever those are my values and my friends. People who dont give me stress are such a gift to cherish.

I does get better people, read, evaluate yourself, hobbies, work, travel... there will be a day when it just doesnt matter anymore what they do or dont do (indifference). Make yourself happy.

Note: "Stop caretaking... . from "Fjestad": great book!