Recycling and who ended the relationship.

[enlighten me]

I was wondering if there was any relationship between who ended the relationship and recycling.

I ask this as my ex finished with her ex husband and hasn't tried to recycle him (yet)

I finished with my ex 23 years ago and got back together with her 2 1/2 years ago.

She spoke lovingly about an ex who finished with her and she says he gave her no reason for it.

I once again finished with my ex.

Now I am curious if you ended things are they more likely to try and recycle you? Also depending on what stage in the relationship you finished it will they recycle you quicker. i.e if it was still in the honeymoon period would they try straight away to win you back?

[fromheeltoheal]

It's all about attachments and abandonment for a borderline; beyond that there are no rules.  If a borderline is feeling lonely, bored, abandoned, whatever negative emotion they can't soothe themselves, they'll reach out to previous or current attachments, or create new attachments, to soothe those feelings.  Also, remember a borderline has an unstable, not fully formed sense of self, so when they are alone they literally don't exist, in their own head.

But a recycle takes two.  If a borderline looks for the remnants of an attachment they used to have with someone, and that person buys into it, not seeing it for what it is or hoping this time 'things will be different', it could be off to the races all over again, but the other person has to bite.