Enablers: I am so happy she was PLEASED... we aim to please now don't we?

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hi everyone,

Back to my sister again.   I decided to show up at a sporting event for my sister's child with my family.  We all went to root the little guy on.    I dropped all her drama and all her nonsense.  Said "hi" and gave her a hug and kiss and bye the same way.   The bigger person I was but I am so tired of her behavior and anger creating divides in family.   This was a neutral place.

My sister tells my dad after how "pleased" she was that we came.    Well,  my first reponse was oh good.   Then I realized that is all HE does... . and wants everyone else to do is PLEASE HER.    He has been the enabler since she was young.    She cause issues, starts fights and he puts them on ME to fix or concede or apologize when she is completely at fault.  I could be saying the most innocent comment and when she is angry about something in her life not going right... . she stops talking to me.   NOW, I have realized.   It is so nice when she stops talking to me.  It relieves me.    So I will do my thing regardless of her nonsense and my dad can continue to PLEASE her while of course she please no one else.   

[funfunctional]

Hi everyone,

Back to my sister again.   I decided to show up at a sporting event for my sister's child with my family.  We all went to root the little guy on.    I dropped all her drama and all her nonsense.  Said "hi" and gave her a hug and kiss and bye the same way.   The bigger person I was but I am so tired of her behavior and anger creating divides in family.   This was a neutral place.

My sister tells my dad after how "pleased" she was that we came.    Well,  my first reponse was oh good.   Then I realized that is all HE does... . and wants everyone else to do is PLEASE HER.    He has been the enabler since she was young.    She cause issues, starts fights and he puts them on ME to fix or concede or apologize when she is completely at fault.  I could be saying the most innocent comment and when she is angry about something in her life not going right... . she stops talking to me.   NOW, I have realized.   It is so nice when she stops talking to me.  It relieves me.    So I will do my thing regardless of her nonsense and my dad can continue to PLEASE her while of course she please no one else.   

[CrazyNoMore]

It is so nice when she stops talking to me.  It relieves me.    So I will do my thing regardless of her nonsense and my dad can continue to PLEASE her while of course she please no one else.   

Good for you!

My UBPDM was a master of the silent treatment.  That woman could go MONTHS without speaking to my father and they lived in the same house!  I really don't think he much cared after a while.  He could read in peace, take a nap, whatever. 

I remember just observing this one day and realizing, "Wow, when she shuts up, it's kind of nice around here."  ("Nice" being a relative term, of course.)  Soon I began to realize I LIKED it when she decided to deny all of us the gift of her interaction.    Not going to speak to me for two weeks?  Great!  I can get some reading done, listen to my Walkman (remember those?), I can hear myself THINK.  It was like a vacation!

[HappyChappy]

She cause issues, starts fights and he puts them on ME to fix or concede or apologize when she is completely at fault.  I could be saying the most innocent comment and when she is angry about something in her life not going right... . she stops talking to me.

NOW, I have realized.   It is so nice when she stops talking to me.  It relieves me.  

Ah the silent treatement. I went NC with my BPDm 6 months ago and I'm still not sure that she knows, I think she thinks we're having a sulking match  . But as you say who cares so long as they stop talking.

[funfunctional]

HENCE - my peace sign.

I no longer am doing life's dramas.   I will feel peaceful.  I will focus on my work.  My family.   My personal growth.

People in my life will not take my life from me.

YES - so don't talk to me!  LOVE IT - Isn't this great my friends.

[fairly]

My sister is the same way.  She will give me the silent treatment and it is really a lovely break from her.  But after a few days she will call like nothing ever happened.  It is crazy making.   But she cares for our 95 yr old father so I must keep in contact with her.