Ended for Now

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Well I finally feel just a bit better. I had to catch her in a direct and blatant attempt to hurt me once again. I think this kind of broke the spell for me a bit.

I don't know what she will do, try to contact me again or what and I really don't care one way or the other at this point. I am not going to take her calls now. If she gets through to me I may respond. I do not intend to do it in an angry way. She is seeing or screwing or whatever with this other guy and more power to her but lord help him in the long run if her condition is not treated. I will let her know I don't believe a word she says and that may provoke rage or I don't know what. Maybe somebody could tell me from their experiences.

This is what happened. I went to a party Saturday evening after talking with her and her being ambivalent again. i realized she was kind of giving me the cold shoulder so at the last minute I figured to go to this party at my friends and I will not lie try to drink her off my mind a bit.

i went to the party and about dark I get a text from her that her young son is at the hospital and has to have emergency surgery for a fractured wrist. Well I am already pretty wasted and that just triggered my rescuer i guess and I became concerned, texted her several times blah blah blah, exchanged heart warming messages but because I was so drunk I could not go there. I sobered up around 4:30 next morning and went home. She calls me about 10 and needs a ride home at 1.00. I chivalrous sucker that I am go to get them right away and take them home. She really seems to love the kid and he is adorable and I don't knock her for that. But she has like a mask on. I guess thats what I would call it. No emotion no warmth anymore. She stops at the Pharmacy and I probably get one smile or two out of her the whole way home. It is cordial she somewhat reluctantly hugs me goodbye and I go home. Her unwillingness at intimacy has me upset again. She asks me if I will take the kid to see fireworks for July 4 which I say I will. When I arrive home I get the courage to call her and tell her I have defenitely not got over what she did the week before with the guy on the moped and do not think she wants me. Amblivalence again, she didn't do anything and we'll talk. But I defenitely let her know I was not happy.

So when I am with her she has on no makeup and dressed in a sexy but kind of clean the house outfit. I go back over there about 5 to pick up the nieghbor to give him a ride and what do I see but the moped in the driveway. I call her emediately and her damn sister is on the phone and I think it is her and I said, I see your moped friend is back. She asks me if I  want to speak with her(and giggles,so lord knows what she is telling her) I say yes and she says she is coming out. Here she comes down the sidewalk, with her totally ambivalent act going on, but all duded up makeup and all. I tell her I just was giving this guy a ride and could I bum a couple of her cigarettes. We go back in the house there is moped guy on the couch and her sis and a friend of hers. i say hello and leave abruptly. I am not happy and they knew it. I didnt say a word but later that evening I sent her a FB message that she was pushing away someone who had always been there for her and she would regret that. No response. I won't take her calls now. She is full of it but still wants me to be her worker drone without benefits so to speak. She is not going to contact me and I am through. I see how her mood swings from seeming to care a little and be grateful to sceming and trying to impress and date this guy again. It is like feelings then ambivalence and then betrayal again. I can't deal with it, the spell is broken. If she ever calls again I will not accept them. Maybe we will see each other if she wants to and we'll talk. I don't really think she will though cause she was caught in her deceit and know I am absolutely on the her and that kills her control What are some of your ideas. I want to get help and care for her but my obsession with her is waining. I am going to work on my life and concerns and if we talk again my intention is let her know the spell is broken and I am not going to believe her lies any longer. Thanks for listening. Any suggestions on how she might behave now. We will see how it plays out.

[screwedfriend]

Well I finally feel just a bit better. I had to catch her in a direct and blatant attempt to hurt me once again. I think this kind of broke the spell for me a bit.

I don't know what she will do, try to contact me again or what and I really don't care one way or the other at this point. I am not going to take her calls now. If she gets through to me I may respond. I do not intend to do it in an angry way. She is seeing or screwing or whatever with this other guy and more power to her but lord help him in the long run if her condition is not treated. I will let her know I don't believe a word she says and that may provoke rage or I don't know what. Maybe somebody could tell me from their experiences.

This is what happened. I went to a party Saturday evening after talking with her and her being ambivalent again. i realized she was kind of giving me the cold shoulder so at the last minute I figured to go to this party at my friends and I will not lie try to drink her off my mind a bit.

i went to the party and about dark I get a text from her that her young son is at the hospital and has to have emergency surgery for a fractured wrist. Well I am already pretty wasted and that just triggered my rescuer i guess and I became concerned, texted her several times blah blah blah, exchanged heart warming messages but because I was so drunk I could not go there. I sobered up around 4:30 next morning and went home. She calls me about 10 and needs a ride home at 1.00. I chivalrous sucker that I am go to get them right away and take them home. She really seems to love the kid and he is adorable and I don't knock her for that. But she has like a mask on. I guess thats what I would call it. No emotion no warmth anymore. She stops at the Pharmacy and I probably get one smile or two out of her the whole way home. It is cordial she somewhat reluctantly hugs me goodbye and I go home. Her unwillingness at intimacy has me upset again. She asks me if I will take the kid to see fireworks for July 4 which I say I will. When I arrive home I get the courage to call her and tell her I have defenitely not got over what she did the week before with the guy on the moped and do not think she wants me. Amblivalence again, she didn't do anything and we'll talk. But I defenitely let her know I was not happy.

So when I am with her she has on no makeup and dressed in a sexy but kind of clean the house outfit. I go back over there about 5 to pick up the nieghbor to give him a ride and what do I see but the moped in the driveway. I call her emediately and her damn sister is on the phone and I think it is her and I said, I see your moped friend is back. She asks me if I  want to speak with her(and giggles,so lord knows what she is telling her) I say yes and she says she is coming out. Here she comes down the sidewalk, with her totally ambivalent act going on, but all duded up makeup and all. I tell her I just was giving this guy a ride and could I bum a couple of her cigarettes. We go back in the house there is moped guy on the couch and her sis and a friend of hers. i say hello and leave abruptly. I am not happy and they knew it. I didnt say a word but later that evening I sent her a FB message that she was pushing away someone who had always been there for her and she would regret that. No response. I won't take her calls now. She is full of it but still wants me to be her worker drone without benefits so to speak. She is not going to contact me and I am through. I see how her mood swings from seeming to care a little and be grateful to sceming and trying to impress and date this guy again. It is like feelings then ambivalence and then betrayal again. I can't deal with it, the spell is broken. If she ever calls again I will not accept them. Maybe we will see each other if she wants to and we'll talk. I don't really think she will though cause she was caught in her deceit and know I am absolutely on the her and that kills her control What are some of your ideas. I want to get help and care for her but my obsession with her is waining. I am going to work on my life and concerns and if we talk again my intention is let her know the spell is broken and I am not going to believe her lies any longer. Thanks for listening. Any suggestions on how she might behave now. We will see how it plays out.

[AwakenedOne]

What are some of your ideas.

I'm sorry your going through this. I really feel for you man. You asked for advice. You sound like a good guy, so here is my 2 cents worth. Take it or leave it. I have read all of your posts.

You said you haven't dated for a while and feel at the very least that this girl has triggered in you an interest to get back into dating again. That's good. I relate, when my ex dumped me I met a cool girl a few months later and we went out, it didn't really work out but it got me into dating again casually. You might now want to look elsewhere instead of dealing with this woman further.

In your own words you say you feel she is using you. I won't disagree with that. 24 hour taxi service, an ATM machine and a babysitter for her kid while she more than likely is with that other guy while you are babysitting her kid. She has a lot of nerve right? Why can't she babysit her own kid on the 4th? Well then again it's probably because she is going out on a date with that guy she likes that drives the moped on the 4th?

If it was me I'd let her and that moped driving dude drive off into the sunset together and not sweat it.

If she ever calls again I will not accept them. Maybe we will see each other if she wants to and we'll talk.

You say you wont accept her calls, but if she wants to sit down and talk to you that's ok. What's the difference?

I guess your going to have to make a decision if you see a future in this.

I wish you good luck on your decision my friend. 

Peace,

AO