It Was My Birthday Today.

[Willingtolearn]

My exBPDgf and i parted 2 years ago ( on her instigation).  I have had 2years and 1 month complete and unbroken NC.

It was my birthday today.  My office phone rang and my secretary answered it.  A woman's voice said  " Sorry i have dialed the wrong number" and then hung up.

Half hour later the office phone rang again.  I answered it, and complete silence on the other end; and then CLICK it hung up.

I am guessing it was HER, on both occasions. Could i be right?

[Eric1]

Can you reverse the call?

Happy birthday.

[Willingtolearn]

Unfortunately i have no way of checking the phone numbers of incoming phone calls.

Maybe i am just being paranoid... .but then again.

[peiper]

It was her

[Tausk]

Does it really matter if it was your ex.  The person you loved no longer really exists.   Even the memories of the interactions and lies are just a set of disjointed images that are mixed in her mind with the rest of the confusion of surviving life with limited capacity.  It is very sad.

But I wish you a sincere and unconditional happy birthday.   Love and grace are possible for us today.

[Willingtolearn]

Tausk  i can answer you question in two ways.

No it doesn't matter if it was her, because that is one path i never want to tread again.

Yes it does matter if it was her, because from small acorns things can grow and grow... .from her. First the phone calls and then who knows what maybe next. 

It seems live we can never close the chapter finally.

[Tausk]

Therefore if it becomes necessary you may have to establish boundaries.   But without further info it is irrelevant regarding your recovery today.

And even if it was it is just the disorder and we have learned to detach from the disorder.

Are you triggered?  I know that i would be.   So perhaps assume it wasn't and enjoy your day.   No reason to kick in flight or fight, and no reason to let it affect your day.

Maybe since you thought of her,  say a silent prayer for your ex since she's inevitably scared and confused no matter where she is at.   Thanks for sharing.  Be well.

[Changingman]

Yes it was her, go with your gut. See that? more confusion, more oddness.

Closure? ha ha. There is no beginning to a BPD RS, how could there be an end. You were not special, the story started before you and will continue after you.

I think now about my xBPDgf... .Yuck, I let her put her hands on me.