Driven to be ANGRY

[peacebaby]

I am going to try posting, knowing that it almost never does anything but make me feel worse and more alone than I originally did.  

And that's the best I can do right now. Let's see if I can post it before erasing it.

[peacebaby]

Thanks guys. I agree that a certain amount of anger is appropriate and useful for healing. But to be happy, one must have a handle on one's emotions. Sometimes I allow literally everything to make me angry, and that's not the way towards any level of happiness. Lately I look at almost everything through a lens that says "I am a piece of crap and the world is hideously ugly" and I've really got to get that together.

I'm just finding this very difficult right now.

[Blimblam]

check you this article by skip on mindfulness.  It has some great stuff in their on processing emotions.  Thanks skip!

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=64749.0

[peacebaby]

Thanks, Blim. Was actually just reading that, but like every other "tool" here there is a first post that is informative, and the rest of it is just members and their stuff. Getting members opinions mixed up with "official board tools" has never made sense to me.

[woodsposse]

Thats not anger.

Thats the eating of bitterness and diminished self doubt.

It is at this time you news the support and validation of those who understand what you aregoing through... .and ttrust me... .you will get through this.

Its a process... .not a switch.

You are not alone.

[peacebaby]

Hi, woodsposse. Just for the record "You are not alone" is the only sentence of your post that I understood.

[woodsposse]

Hi, woodsposse. Just for the record "You are not alone" is the only sentence of your post that I understood. I'll try to keep that in mind.

Then that's where we start!   

(and not a bad starting point at that!)

[peacebaby]

Let me be clearer. It is your wording that I do not understand.

Thats the eating of bitterness and diminished self doubt.

It is at this time you news the support and validation of those who understand what you aregoing through... .and ttrust me... .you will get through this.

Its a process... .not a switch.

What is "the eating of bitterness and diminished self doubt."

This sentence does not make sense which is why I do not understand it:

"It is at this time you news the support and validation of those who understand what you aregoing through... .and ttrust me... .you will get through this."


I also don't get "Then that's where we start!" Some kind of condescending we-ness that implies I'm just starting something and that I'm starting something with "you" whoever you are?

Really, if you are trying to help me, and I need the help and validation of those that understand, where is this help and validation? All I see is condescension.

[woodsposse]

Let me be clearer. It is your wording that I do not understand.

Thats the eating of bitterness and diminished self doubt.

It is at this time you news the support and validation of those who understand what you aregoing through... .and ttrust me... .you will get through this.

Its a process... .not a switch.

What is "the eating of bitterness and diminished self doubt."

This sentence does not make sense which is why I do not understand it:

"It is at this time you news the support and validation of those who understand what you aregoing through... .and ttrust me... .you will get through this."


I also don't get "Then that's where we start!" Some kind of condescending we-ness that implies I'm just starting something and that I'm starting something with "you" whoever you are?

Really, if you are trying to help me, and I need the help and validation of those that understand, where is this help and validation? All I see is condescension.

Ah.  Now I understand.

It was suppose to read "Sting of bitterness"  (I was typing on my phone... .autocorrect sux).

The "That is where we start"... .also taken out of context.  I was simply saying that if you are on board with "you are not alone" then that is a great place to start.  I know when I first came here, I felt totally alone.  After I realized I wasn't... .things really started to happen and click in my head. 

I totally understand how thing taken out of context may appear condescending  -- not the intent, not in the least bit.  The words as typed on my phone (and not fully expressed) just came out a bit wonky.

[woodsposse]

 

I should probably stop trying to type with my phone.  Those buttons are so tiny (and I swear autocorrect hates me!)   

[woodsposse]

"It is at this time you news the support and validation of those who understand what you aregoing through... .and ttrust me... .you will get through this."

Should have read:

It is at this time you need the support and validation of those who understand what you are going through.  And, trust me, you will get through this.


I totally understand the anger and bitterness and not seeing any light at the end of anything.  No joy in the world - and everything is just crap.  I lived it for a very long time during and after my breakup with my wife (we were together almost 20 years). 

The anger is part of the grieving process... .and there is no set time or play manual on how that plays itself out.  So in that - as I was trying to articulate - being here on this board is a great place to be because members here know and feel exactly what you are feeling.  So you are among people who understand. 

Which... .as I said... .you can at least know (and have a great starting point of knowing) you are not alone.

[peacebaby]

Thanks. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I can make the tunnel as long or as short as I want. Just gonna focus on that for a while.