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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: I so wish I hadn't gone back  (Read 448 times)
Emelie Emelie
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 665


« on: July 06, 2014, 03:43:08 PM »

Some of you know my story.  My exBF abruptly dumped me after about a year.  Within a few months he was back... .texting, missing me, etc.  When he asked if I'd reconsider I said no at first.  Could not risk going through all that pain again.  He made me a lot of promises.  Pledged his love.  Regretted everything.  Was so determined to make it work.  Begged me to not give up on  him.  So of course I didn't.  I love him.  I went back.  Same freaking thing happened... .just a shorter time frame.  Four months this time.  Cruelly, abruptly dumped me.  Made it may fault and wouldn't talk about it.  So here I am.  Three months later.  In awful emotional pain.  Spending my holiday weekend crying over him.  I'm working hard at acceptance, detachment... .focussing on myself, all of it.  Feel like I'm not making much progress.  The pain feels as fresh as it did the day after.  I am so freaking TIRED of crying over him.  Of wasting my days and weeks in pain over him.  Feeling like this will NEVER get better.  If I hadn't gone  back it would now be a year since our first break up.  I would be a year out.  Not three months out.  Have to believe that would be better.
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learnandgrow
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 67


« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2014, 04:11:07 PM »

Seriously, be grateful you only wasted 4 more months on him. I went back to my ex after 4 years, and was strung along for 9 months before it ended again. I'm sure she'll come back at some point over the next few months... .but this time I won't take the bait.

I'd advise you take no contact seriously and don't go back this time, and maybe see a T. I'm doing that right now... .though I can't really afford it my mental and emotional health trumps a lot of things at this point in my life. Invest in yourself... .don't let them drag you down anymore.
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Caredverymuch
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 735



« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2014, 04:24:57 PM »

Some of you know my story.  My exBF abruptly dumped me after about a year.  Within a few months he was back... .texting, missing me, etc.  When he asked if I'd reconsider I said no at first.  Could not risk going through all that pain again.  He made me a lot of promises.  Pledged his love.  Regretted everything.  Was so determined to make it work.  Begged me to not give up on  him.  So of course I didn't.  I love him.  I went back.  Same freaking thing happened... .just a shorter time frame.  Four months this time.  Cruelly, abruptly dumped me.  Made it may fault and wouldn't talk about it.  So here I am.  Three months later.  In awful emotional pain.  Spending my holiday weekend crying over him.  I'm working hard at acceptance, detachment... .focussing on myself, all of it.  Feel like I'm not making much progress.  The pain feels as fresh as it did the day after.  I am so freaking TIRED of crying over him.  Of wasting my days and weeks in pain over him.  Feeling like this will NEVER get better.  If I hadn't gone  back it would now be a year since our first break up.  I would be a year out.  Not three months out.  Have to believe that would be better.

Im so sorry for your pain and we all know how you feel right now. Be gentle with yourself. I told myself I went back because I loved him. Thats my truth.  Try to remember that you are a caring person who knows how to give AND receive love. Don't remind your self of the timeframe behind you.  Just keep moving forward. And reading and posting here when you need support. It really does help.  We know exactly how you are feeling. Surround yourself with people who are caring and take care of yourself. And I agree with the other suggestions including getting an understanding t. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
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