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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: so diffrent from one to another.  (Read 484 times)
peiper
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 805



« on: July 07, 2014, 07:59:33 PM »

I really think they can all be so diffrent but in some ways the same. Mine has so many BPD traits but also npd traits. Its so hard to guess what they will do next. Im to the point that I do not care. I hate to say it I hope someday she realizes what she lost and had and hurt but I doubt it will happen. She creates her own reality.
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Forestaken
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Relationship status: Divorced
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« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2014, 09:05:38 AM »

IMO: My Xw was uBPD/uNPD+dOCD. 

In the end, she lost me and the kids, her house and her lifestyle.  She now lives with her sister.  Although she is financially set as the results of the divorce, she lost all the intangibles.

Until someone admits they have a problem, no one can help them.
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Mutt
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Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
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« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2014, 06:44:59 PM »

It took me awhile to see what kinds of traits were prominent in my wife. Waif was something that I picked up on the boards a lot and she is Queen / Witch. After I read this article BPD BEHAVIORS: Waif, Hermit, Queen, and Witch I started to see the behaviors and patterns of my uBPDw.  She is narcisitic and that plays into the Queen. She is very controlling. You can't predict what she will do, but you can predict patterns. I'm sorry it's confusing peiper  

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