So confused. Wish there was an easy solution.

[wishfulthinking]

Tomorrow is court for the temporarty restraining order on my BPD/NPDh.  I admit he has texted me and I have not turned it in because they are not threatening whatsoever.  I'm not out to ruin his life.  He's being respectful right now.  I'm getting a mixture of messages in his texts.  They range from how he knows he hurt me and was out of line.  How he understands I am mad, hurt, and upset and it will never happen again.  I did respond back from another number that I have heard all that before and I feel like I'm living in an after school special about abuse.  I told him it gets worse each time instead of better and the next time he would probably kill me.  He told me he understands my feelings and he is trying to make the right choices to get help through God.  I quit responding because he needs REAL help AND God.  Of course some of his messages were about what he is going through, and how staying at his mom's is horrible.  I imagine it is.  I know he is going through things, too, so I don't see too much guilt trip in his letting me know his feelings.  Then, there's the BPD sneaky blame.  It's in there, mixed in with little words now and then or an admittance of fault coupled with what MADE him do it.

ANWAY, the biggest thing is.  He is kicked out of my house. (I have owned it 12 years, he moved i a year ago, never paid a dime to it the whole time.)  I know I love this man and the part of him that's not mean.  I know it can't continue how it is.  The only way we can talk about help is to drop the order, but does that mean I have to let him move back in?  Because I'm not ready for that.  I'm just at the place where I'm willing to discuss action plan.

Should I let it all go or am I asking for major trouble with a BPD?

[Lucky Jim]

Hey wishful, My suggestion is that you first obtain the Restraining Order before considering next moves with your BPDh.  Otherwise, you may find yourself back in the same place -- seeking a restraining order -- within a short period of time, I predict.  LuckyJim

[GaGrl]

Or find yourself in the hospital wishing you had a RO.