His dreams

[honeysuckle]

I got a text this morning from my ex. We broke up 2 months ago I was NC and recently became LC.  He just sends a text out of no where and says "I had a dream about you." He goes on to tell me about his dream of us going on vacation ect. They are all dreams of pleasant things... Over the last 2 weeks he has done this 3 times.  I don't know how to feel about this.

Is this anything you have experienced?

[myself]

Yes. In my r/s, it meant she was seeing me as 'good' again, and was able to be more 'good' with me again. As if she had to dream her way back to a better reality? She said many times, "It's a sign, we're supposed to go and do these things together," but there wouldn't be any follow through.

[fromheeltoheal]

Yes, the push/pull nature of the disorder.  Since you broke up he is probably feeling abandonment, whether he's with someone else or not, so he will try and move towards you, affect or reestablish an attachment, idealize you, and completely forget about any strife that happened between you, act like it didn't happen, pour on the sticky-sweet.  Such is the disorder, never wanting to lose an attachment, ever.

So what are you going to do?

[honeysuckle]

Thank you! That makes sense. I am not going to change my decision to move on and out of this relationship. He is with someone else now. I struggle daily and I have learned a lot about trauma bonds and that is what I had/have. I went through a horrible time when we first broke up. He left me for someone else and that is the second time time I had to do it. We got back together 6 weeks later after the first time because I wasn't able or willing to give up. I am not going to do that again and I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't go back just to have to do it again. It is the worst pain I have ever felt. I feel more like myself now and I don't want to go through it again.

I still love him and I think about him but I'm done with the relationship part. To be honest I hated being "black" so this helps me.