Um... .just thinking out loud.
So from what I have read and learned so far regarding BPD:
1. BPD love = we were not loved as an actual individual person. Therefore we were the only ones in love in the relationship. They were in need.
2. The entire relationship was a lie and a selfish manipulation.
3. I have read many references to a BPD relationships as being parasitic. We are descibed as the host for the parasite.
Thinking I served as her "host" makes me want to barf actually. Sometimes I feel like a sucker and a fool but being a host is actually worse.
1. I think we serve the purpose for a need for them but once we become idealized they are in infatuation with the idea of who we are in their fantasy. On the flip side we project on to them also and we do the same. I think its not so much of none of it was real its just how we perceived them was our own projection, which is not to blame us, we didn't know what BPD was.
2. The relationship was real but we and them both got caught up in our own idealistic projections. They are following the protocol of the disorder then entire time which is extremely manipulative by nature. Through the trauma bonding we fall deep into denial when we begin to see inconsistancies with our projection and we cling to hope that things will get better.
3. I agree they are parasitic!