More proof, if proof were needed

[Arminius]

Throughout my 7 years with the uBPDxgf , she frequently referred to one of her female ex partners who had apparently destroyed her confidence, banned her from having friends, and finally tried to kill her by drowning.

I ate it all up, feeling sorry for her terrible experiences, and of course wanting to rescue her ... .

Imagine my amazement and surprise to see that my uBPDxgf is now facebook friends with this person who ruined her life and tried to kill her... .

Just another little nugget to remind me I am better off well away from her. What a web of deceit she created. I wonder how I feature in her current pack of lies... .

[eagle755]

Oh how I can relate

More and more things, every day.

Just like that.

[gtrhr]

Probably a lot of us can relate to this feeling of being used to get over the ex.  Only to find them being like friends and confidantes later on and ourselves being frozen out from our partners real feelings.  I can say in my case I don't feel like she painted a worse picture of him than he was, but it feels like such a betrayal when all of a sudden this person is forgiven and somehow your partner treats you so harshly.

[myself]

Their lives are like a pinball game we don't have to play anymore.

They have their version of the truth, we have ours.

The friction comes from trying to force them together.

[BacknthSaddle]

So true. My ex told me two years ago that a lesbian co-worker had fallen in love with her (after they exchanged sexually explicit texts) and tried to ruin her marriage by anonymously emailing her husband and his family (?) to reveal all if my ex's infidelities. I recently found out that she went on a girls' trip to Atlantic City with this co-worker. Was she lying? Was she telling the truth and now has just dissociated? Was she telling the truth but needed the attachment too badly? Who cares. Whatever the explanation, this is not someone who can be expected to have a healthy relationship.

[Tausk]

Their lives are like a pinball game we don't have to play anymore.

They have their version of the truth, we have ours.

The friction comes from trying to force them together.

This is very good.   In fact, I was the ball, getting batted all around, spinning, bouncing between bumpers, and sometimes held kindly with love in the flippers for just a moment, only to be shot through a hoop and up a ramp... .ding! ding! ding! ... .thank God the game finally Tilted!    

And yes, we were never on the same page.   I realize now that what my ex was experiencing was almost nothing like what I was.  Nothing.  

[Karmachameleon]

Oh man, the stories I heard about my ex's ex-girlfriend.  By his account she was evil, manipulative, insane and the biggest slut on the planet and stalked him relentlessly after they broke up.  He referred to her as "Stupid" instead of using her name.  The effort he put into trying to convince me of this should have been a giant  .  But upon self reflection there would have never been a big enough red flag.  I was driven to be with him no matter what.  But anyhoo... .the ex has recently contacted me and we have talked at length and she is the sweetest person ever.  Extremely passive (way nicer than me), has two little kids, goes to church regularly and loves Jesus, did so many nice things to try to help him, bought him a car, paid to have his teeth fixed, paid for him to see psychologists, on and on and on.  If he can paint her black than he could paint Mother Theresa black.  Seriously.  The lies he told about her are ridiculous.  Turns out he stalked her relentlessly for 9 months after their breakup and she has hundreds of emails and voicemails to prove it and she had to get the cops involved.  She moved and he figured out where she lived and would go there at night and put his specific brand of beer cans outside her daughter's bedroom window and really creepy stuff like that.  Yep... .that's the guy I've been in a serious relationship with for the past 3 years, wanted to marry and allowed him to be alone with my kid... .Go me!

[Promises]

Probably a lot of us can relate to this feeling of being used to get over the ex.  Only to find them being like friends and confidantes later on and ourselves being frozen out from our partners real feelings.  I can say in my case I don't feel like she painted a worse picture of him than he was, but it feels like such a betrayal when all of a sudden this person is forgiven and somehow your partner treats you so harshly.

My exBPD had a wife he was separated from who he said he couldn't stand.  Couldn't wait to get a divorce from this "crazy b#@ch". Strange they were always texting.  She knew all about me and he told her he loved me.  I know now why. It's so clear now but then I just thought it was rude and unneccassary for him to throw in her face.  Didn't have the knowledge of BPD yet. After I finally got out of the relationship he stalked and harassed me till I had to go to police.  He was arrested and guess who he brought to his arraignment for support?  Like being hit over the head with a ton of bricks,  was the pain of more betrayal I didn't even see coming.  His wife told a judge she never feared him and that I was to blame.  I had talked to her once a couple months before.  She had confirmed my fears about him, said he stalked her until he met me and offered her support to me.  He was also forwarding her my texts.  The lies never stop.  The betrayal never stops.  Using who they can and changing alliances never stops.  It's their life and I'm grateful to be free and recovering.  I worry about their kids.  The only nice thing he told me about her is that she's a " good mom".  I'm very glad but the contradictions in her stories tell me she is not a good person.  She was married to a BPD for a long time.  That would explain it.  I hope she gets the help she needs and never goes back.