The music...

[Huh?]

I think you can tell ALOT about somebody by the type of music that they listen to.  ALOT.   Well, today I had the unpleasant task of trying to delete my ex fiances music off of our shared itunes on the computer.  For some reason, her music would sync onto my ipod and I had to really work to figure out how to get it deleted off of there. Obviously, I dont want to hear her songs... .dont need the reminder of her.

Anyway, the point of this post is that I noticed a trend in 90% of her music in our library.  A lot of it was country, a lot of R&B.  Almost of her songs were about a lost love, missing somebody, waiting for someone to comeback, what could have been, etc.  Seriously.  I wish I had examples of titles, but I deleted a 100+ songs and I dont remember what they were.  It was like getting smacked in the gut every time I had to click and delete a song.

She had told me that she was on/off with a boyfriend in the past... .maybe this is where all these songs stem from.  Who knows.  I just thought it was interesting... .it was like I was deleting an recycling concert off my itunes. 

[Dolly rocker]

Interesting!

I think u have a point there. Songs do tell a lot about ones state of mind.

U did the right ting there by deleting every single reminder of her.

I used to love a particular band but since he likes it too, I just gone off it BIG TIME. Can't stand the band now.

[neverloveagain]

Mine used to play songs that conveyed her feelings without saying it in the flesh. Very telling now to her mindset. The fantasy that sucked us all in. We almost nailed ourselves to our own 'crosses'.

[Arminius]

When I met my uBPDxgf , very early on I asked her what kind of music she liked.

Quick as a flash she said REM. Now, this was back in 2007 and she was 30. I thought this was an odd choice of artist for a 30 year old to immediately mention... .

Anyway, long time, years maybe, later I asked her how come she had said REM yet there was no REM on her iPod.

Her answer should have been a massive RED FLAG, and knowing what I know now, I'd have seen it waving at me!

She said, ' You're older than me, so I just said REM as my brother likes that and he's your age.'

Stupidly, I was flattered that she had 'lied' to try to bond with me but I see now it was no more than chameleon behaviour.

Oh, the iPod... .I've mentioned that elsewhere in these pages. That was a gift to her from a slightly older couple who treated her almost as a daughter, nice gifts etc. When she got with me, that couple cut contact with her, no explanation. My ex didn't care, didn't seek an answer. It's like she just jettisoned her last life when starting one with me. And, she 'lost' that iPod and another nice gift form them soon after getting with me. She cut the items loose, with hindsight, just as she has cut loose all of 'us' since the split ( apart from trying to FB request anyone she thinks is close to me) .

The best therapy for me is to remind myself that I don't have to understand her... .I just have to radically accept that the disorder wins. Not my original statement, rather one I learned here, but it's the truth.

[Ventus2ct]

Mine was very into her music, most that I was subjected to was very morbid sounding, lyrics again about feelings, loss etc etc, mostly female voices. London Grammar "Strong" she used to play over and over and over again. It freaks me out to listen to it now, brings me to tears, even now!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6drfp_3823I&list=RD6drfp_3823I#t=0

[Vatz]

She sang Adele's "Someone Like You" I think twice after flat out walking away from an argument. Locked herself in the bathroom, sat there rocking herself and sang it. I know she sat and rocked herself because I've seen her do it before. Come to think of it, having heard several songs by Adele, I think she herself is possibly borderline.

I have to say, that sh** always got me angry. For some reason, whenever she did it all I could think of was "Oh boy, what a f***ing victim  , so sad."

Her music was always that sort of stuff. Incubus, and Breaking Benjamin. But the angsty stuff. I mean yeah there were other decent songs she liked, but the ones she bothered to learn were the "Woe is me" type songs. Blech 

I also knew something was strange when she started talking to this one guy on skype, and suddenly was all about RnB and Rap. But the above stuff is the only constant in her tastes.

[Huh?]

Wow.  I wish I was making this stuff up... .but I am not.  I just layed down to go to sleep and put my ipod in my ears, (I like to sleep to music)... .and I missed deleting this song of my upbd ex fiances the other day... ."Crazy Girl" by the Eli Young band? (never heard of it) all I can say is wow, she was SCREAMING she is nuts the entire time together and I completely missed it.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3HwFtdVTfM

I didnt watch the video... .but it starts out in a psyche ward.   

Lyrics... .

Baby why you wanna cry?

You really oughta know that I

Just have to walk away sometimes

We're gonna do what lovers do

We're gonna have a fight or two

But I ain't ever changin' my mind

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?

And I wouldn't dream of goin' nowhere

Silly woman, come here, let me hold you

Have I told you lately?

I love you like crazy, girl

Wouldn't last a single day

I'd probably just fade away

Without you, I'd lose my mind

Before you ever came along

I was livin' life all wrong

Smartest thing I ever did was make you all mine

Crazy girl, don't you know that I love you?

And I wouldn't dream of goin' nowhere

Silly woman, come here, let me hold you

Have I told you lately?

I love you like crazy, girl

So this is her fantasy of a healthy, idealized relationship?  She can be crazy... .and her man is supposed to just hold her and tell her its gonna be okay?  Well, this man isnt gonna do that... .thats for sure.