Drug Dependency?

[Lolster]

Ex pwBPD relies heavily on a lot of drugs, highest possible dose of opiod pain killers and sleeping meds (still doesn't sleep).  Also anti anxiety meds (didn't say that's what this medication was for, I looked it up).

Is it other people's experience that their pwBPD takes a lot of medication for a whole host of different reasons?

I feel exBPD's issues are all related, but viewed as individual problems, not only by himself but by those treating him.

PHYSICAL PAIN - Due to knee operation, treated with opiates (an operation most people recover from easily enough, has been through every opiate pain killer on the market over an extended number of years.

DEPRESSION/Anxiety - Attributed to the pain and resulting isolation (by pwBPD), prescribed anti anxiety meds.

PARASOMNIA - High dose sleeping tablets, offered access to a "Sleep Clinic" but has a negative view so will not help.

EATING DISORDER - In Denial.

Those treating him can only really rely on the pain level reported by the pwBPD, but I think he uses the level of pain for attention, and to receive the opiates he most definitely is addicted to.

[Blimblam]

Iv'e met a few that took all kinds of pills.

Ive met a couple that just smoked copious amounts of weed

A couple that were into all kind of drugs and booze

[Lolster]

Iv'e met a few that took all kinds of pills.

Ive met a couple that just smoked copious amounts of weed

A couple that were into all kind of drugs and booze

Yes, I was married to a self medicating drug/alcohol user, it just somehow seems more surprising to me that professionals would be so happy to keep dishing out high strength meds for them to do it legally and them STILL be allowed to drive!

[camuse]

Mine was on anti anxiety, anti psychotics, sedatives, sleeping pills, smoked weed constantly and would sometimes get through a bag of cocaine in a few hours. When I suggested that maybe the massive intake of cannabis might be causing her paranoia that I was cheating on her, she said "I've smoked weed for years and never felt paranoid before I met you ... .So it's obviously you!"

[Lolster]

Mine was on anti anxiety, anti psychotics, sedatives, sleeping pills, smoked weed constantly and would sometimes get through a bag of cocaine in a few hours. When I suggested that maybe the massive intake of cannabis might be causing her paranoia that I was cheating on her, she said "I've smoked weed for years and never felt paranoid before I met you ... .So it's obviously you!"

Haha, they ALL use that line!  Maybe what they mean is when they are alone they don't feel paranoid as they don't have to try and justify their actions?

My exH brought our son back after an hour the other week.  My son had an autistic meltdown as the shop they went to didn't have what he wanted.  Dad can't deal with it and apparently responded with "Arrrgghh, you're supposed to be my son, you are stressing me out."  Fancy implying that your child needs to conform to a set ideal to actually be fit to be your child?  My son replied in his forthright, ASD way, that dad should "smoke a joint then, it's what you normally do when you're stressed." 

[BorisAcusio]

Close to 40, mine was hooked on benzodiazepines and weed, but she was literally willing to use anything that she could get her hands on. According to the empirical literature, borderlines have a stunning 72 percent rate for lifetime prevelance of substance abuse.

[camuse]

My uxBPD didn't smoke weed for a week, to prove she wasn't addicted. She spent most of the week in tears for no apparent reason, but it proved she wasn't hooked apparently, so she was able to go back on it after the week was over 

That week proved to me that, at the very least, being half stoned all the time helped her block out her constant miserable empty feelings.

[Lolster]

I suppose I never really viewed it as drug dependency before, because I wasn't around this past six years to see how the dependency has not only stayed, but escalated.  Now I see a massive increase and no desire to ever get off any of these drugs, just a desire to increase them.

One time he raged at me that I was insensitive about his pain, because I told him I wasn't expecting him to visit due to the levels of pain he was reporting after the visit before.  So whilst I was actually being considerate and not putting pressure on him to keep to a (loosely agreed) date he twisted it into me being an absolute b***h who didn't want to be around him because I was obviously ashamed of being seen with him!    Little did he know one of my best friends has a life long disability, can't walk far, uses two sticks to his one.  He had previously mentioned being embarrassed to use a stick, so he was obviously projecting his own feelings of shame at me. 

[topknot]

Several anti-anxiety meds, opiate lover, alcoholic, weed lover, oxy on and off (his back hurt - then he couldn't even eat dinner without dropping the silverware), and also, trying to shove a quartered pill in my mouth on two different occasions because I was stressed. I said get the eff out of here with that crap... admitted to looking  in other peoples' medicine chests when visiting - WHO DOES THAT?

[Mr Hollande]

My ex is a big drinker. She'd get so drunk she'd just sit and cry down the phone. Not a word, just enormous wheezing hulking sobs. At one point it was daily. Her drinking was a constant issue between us and every time I saw her pour a glass of whine or buy a bottle of whiskey my heart would sink.

Over time she started using tranquilisers. Not sure what kind. Then anti-depressants. Since she moved onto my replacement she's added weed and speed to her repertoire. Possibly other things as well.  

Gotta hand it to the girl, she's worked hard for her addictions. She must be so proud.

[Lolster]

This one left prescription drugs at my house last time he was here, for MY use. I accepted them, because I am so used to dealing with disordered people (including him) that I know it's always wise to have a plan to counter their attempts at destroying you.

Sure, he can make all kinds of threats, but does he want to go to prison for dishing out controlled drugs?

No doubt he'd say I stole them, but still.

[Caramel]

My ex smoke weed all the time. Weed was his religion.

[camuse]

Seems the weed is a common factor. Maybe because it is soothing?

My ex said, "It's my only pleasure - the only thing that makes me feel ok."

Her relationship before me involved her smoking it with her partner, all day and night, every day and night. They lasted a lot longer than me, and are still friends - although my ex used to remind me "he would have me back at any time." I felt a bit sorry for that ex - ditched for no reason but hanging around for years afterwards hoping for some scraps some day.

I didn't let her smoke around me - maybe if I had done, things would have lasted longer.

[Caramel]

My ex said, "It's my only pleasure - the only thing that makes me feel ok."

My ex said the exact same thing!   

Her relationship before me involved her smoking it with her partner, all day and night, every day and night. They lasted a lot longer than me, and are still friends - although my ex used to remind me "he would have me back at any time." I felt a bit sorry for that ex - ditched for no reason but hanging around for years afterwards hoping for some scraps some day.

Anyone who smoked was highly regarded by him. All of his friends smoked.

He also had ex's still in contact with him from years ago. He used to say how popular he was among his ex's and that they would want him back anytime. Triangulation! 

I didn't let her smoke around me - maybe if I had done, things would have lasted longer.

Yes, any kind of enabling behaviors would probabely make them stick around a bit longer. But all of their relationships would eventually fail. It's a disorder and it treats everyone the same way. No Exceptions.

[Caredverymuch]

Close to 40, mine was hooked on benzodiazepines and weed, but she was literally willing to use anything that she could get her hands on. According to the empirical literature, borderlines have a stunning 72 percent rate for lifetime prevelance of substance abuse.

Agreed. The pBPD i interacted with had  two overflowing medicine cabinets as well as a pantry of OTC meds for everything imaginable.  He was on 6 prescription meds all psych pharm related within one year of T which he would self increase at will. He would additionally take any other " pill" at hand. We once were sharing a conversation after I had recently picked up a prescription of my own. He saw the bottle and he not so jokingly said he would try one. I knew he would.  Of course I refrained from offering it.  He would have daily complaints of somatic ailments.  Daily. At first, this concerned me. I truly thought he was a person experiencing perhaps chronic issues of insidious poor health. Until I realized this is Bpd behavior.  Google BPD and headache. There is a lot of literature out there on the chronic health complaints of BPDs.  Substance abuse in any form is extremely prevalent as well. Remember, they cannot self soothe.

[SpringInMyStep]

Oh my ex is on a LOT of medications. She's also a drug addict, though not technically practicing at the moment, she's tried everything. She's also suicidal.

She's on two sleeping meds, Prozac, a PTSD medicine that helps prevent nightmares, and she takes a legal herbal opiate daily. Oh and she has Xanax for her "triggers".

I'm convinced that if her therapist and medical doctor were communicating, she would not be given all these drugs.

[Ihope2]

Yes, there was a history of drug abuse with my exBPDh.  

According to his version of events, his mother was a codeine and morphine addict whilst carrying him to term.  He was born with opioid deficiency, but of course did not know this until much later in life.  His abusive mother would apparently be constantly medicating him as a child, giving him calmatives and sleeping tablets to control his behaviours.

As a teenager, he started abusing over the counter meds of his own accord, anything containing codeine, including cough syrups.

In his late twenties, he turned to heroin.  He also tried to end his life by overdosing on heroin.

Then in rehab,  a psychiatrist diagnosed him with opioid deficiency, and prescribed suboxone to him.  

Apparently, he had also been on every mood stabiliser, anti depressant, calmative, tranquiliser, lithium in fact any psychotrophic medication available.

When I met him, he was on suboxone, and a mood stabiliser/anti-epileptic medicine.  :)uring our short marriage, he had psychological meltdowns on three occasions which needed psychiatric hospitalisation, and this introduced tranquilisers and sleeping tablets back into his life.  Something called "Urbanol" here, it is a benzodiazepine.  Taken in conjunction with the suboxone, it is very dangerous, as both act as Central Nervous System suppressants.  Not that this fazed him, he swallowed huge doses of each and kept on running out of his monthly supply, and then doctor hopping to get more.  And like a fool, I just looked on.

It must all be related to the severe lack of emotional regulation, and the fact that a person in high states of distress and anxiety seems physiologically "stuck" in emotional overdrive.  Their amygdala doesn't function normally, and their body is a maelstrom of stress responses, hypervigilance, fear, panic, terror, anger, rage, depression, dysphoria.  I understand why someone like that reaches for chemicals to find some calm and peace.  And then of course, addiction sets in and they are forever caught in its grip and all the damage it entails and the manipulation and deceit to get their steady supply of the drug.

I really pity people with BPD.  What a living hell.

[Lolster]

My exh - ASD/NPD/BPD?  Only feels 'normal' when he smokes weed.  And he cannot go out for "a few drinks" he has to get completely wasted as fast as possible.  He thinks he acts 'normal' when he drinks, but in actual fact he makes a complete show of himself.  I began to realise he had no social skills in busy places and drank for confidence, which was over stated and he became grandiose and 'untouchable.'

We can't feel sorry for them though, that's how they suck us back in.

[Lights843]

My ex became an opioid/opiate user. Also abuses benzos, xanax, adderall, mdma, you name it. She is also an alcoholic. Her boyfriend of almost three years runs a tiny heroin den and sells out of it. She lives with him now. They run so much drugs out of it that the drug task force won't even go after them since they're able to bust everybody who buys from it. I also believe that drugs were her trigger.

There's no dispute that drug abuse directly coincides with this disease.

[preciousme]

Hi,

I am glad to have found a post about drugs, my ex smoked weed constantly.  As soon as he woke up and heavily thoughout the day until he slept.  Pretty much chain smoking.    Going out anywhere for any length of time was nigh on impossible as he wouldnt have enough weed to last him,  his dealer came by several times each day right up to late at night.   I find myself ruminating a lot about how much impact this addiction had on our relationship and how much it impacted on his mood and thoughts and rages.  Not to mention the fact that he never had any money, often had no money for food and was always in debt to his dealer who gave it on 'tick'.  He seemed to never want to do anything really except smoke weed in the end, he said it calmed his head.  By the end of the relationship this in itself was a big problem for me as it meant we couldnt really do anything or go anywhere, and doing things with my friends and family always caused trouble, like he wanted me sat there with him.   He would often say oh yes we will do this or that or whatever, but of course, we rarely did, and if we did it was like a military manoeuvre to ensure he had enough weed and he could be somewhere he could smoke it and he was anxious when he didnt have much left or had run out... .never mind all the BPD stuff!   I still cant work out why I think I miss him,  I must be so messed up myself ... sigh

[camuse]

my ex smoked weed constantly.  As soon as he woke up and heavily thoughout the day until he slept.  Pretty much chain smoking.    Going out anywhere for any length of time was nigh on impossible as he wouldnt have enough weed to last him,  his dealer came by several times each day right up to late at night.   I find myself ruminating a lot about how much impact this addiction had on our relationship and how much it impacted on his mood and thoughts and rages.  Not to mention the fact that he never had any money, often had no money for food and was always in debt to his dealer who gave it on 'tick'.  He seemed to never want to do anything really except smoke weed in the end, he said it calmed his head.  By the end of the relationship this in itself was a big problem for me as it meant we couldnt really do anything or go anywhere, and doing things with my friends and family always caused trouble, like he wanted me sat there with him.   He would often say oh yes we will do this or that or whatever, but of course, we rarely did, and if we did it was like a military manoeuvre to ensure he had enough weed and he could be somewhere he could smoke it and he was anxious when he didnt have much left or had run out

Mine also smoked weed constantly. I dont care for the stuff, but never thought about it much until she became paranoid, and I suggested smoking less weed. She went beserk and said no one else had ever made her paranoid so it was me not the weed, and I should "convince yourself its the weed if you like, but you know its really you". So i left it. Eventually she tried not smoking it for a week, and cried pretty much non stop for no real reason. Said she felt empty and began purging "to make my body look like how I feel - empty".

I did get a bit sick of having to dodge police dogs and pick her up from her dealer and it seemed a massive waste of money to me. I think probably the weed didnt affect things between us much, but was just a pain relief for her - very soothing to her. Just a bandage over the problems, like to many other things she did. Anything to ease the pain. Once towards the end she got sad because "I realised you will never smoke weed with me." I dont think that was about the weed itself, but the fact that she probably wanted an unstable partner - all her exes were big into drugs. She told me she intends to "try" heroin one day. If she does that, I suspect she is finished.

[Traumatized]

Mine:

Pain Killer addiction... .goes through them like they were tic tacs, then goes through horrible withdrawal periods where she is out of commission for days.  She'll easily go through 300 of them in about ten days... .and I'm talking about seriously HIGH doses.

Crack, Cocaine, Heroin and whatever else she can put into her body... .does this from time to time, but not regularly.  Loves it all.  Would do it more if she had the opportunity.  I've seen her try to fight her usage in the past because she'll go on 3 to 4 day binges and she knows she shouldn't do that... .but she is too weak to resist when her drug buddy shows up at her door.

Pot... .nope, hates it and won't smoke it.  I guess it's too natural of a substance for her.  She's got to have the synthetic stuff that is horrible to put into your body.

She's a full blown drug addict who has no desire to stop taking drugs even if it kills her (which is probably the point).  She refuses all help.  I've seen her o.d. recently and that was frightening because I really thought she was dead.

I'm a non-drug user and this was my first experience being in a close relationship with an addict.  It's sad to see her destroying herself and not care one bit.  She's never pushed drugs on me or asked me to use with her, but I did witness her freebase cocaine one night.  She started crawling on the floor looking for little bits of residue from the drug.  Her behavior was both bizarre and pathetic.  She never wanted me to witness that side of her, but I'm glad I did because it gave me more insight into her.  I want her to quit doing drugs so bad, but I can't make her stop.  It's sad.  :)rugs are her first and only true love.  And oh yeah, she gets incredibly nasty on them.

I hung out alone with her drug buddy one night.  She's one of the sexist women I've ever seen in my life, and she was trying to get me to use with her so she wouldn't have to get high alone.  She showed me how to prepare crack and even put the spoon in my hand.  In spite of her hotness I was not tempted in the least to get high with her.  I just watched her do it all night and looked at it as an educational experience.  I even got to drive her brand new Mercedes and take her to the street all the drug dealers live on.  I remember sitting in the car alone waiting for her to finish sucking some dealers dick inside the crack house.  It was 2 A.M. and I saw a cop car go by and thought wouldn't it be great if they stopped to check me out right now.  I would have been hauled off to jail for sure.  I don't need that!

Since that time my ex has forbidden me to hang out with her.  She doesn't want me to get involved in that world.  She's looking out for me.