The last words she said

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

I was sitting here thinking this morning about the last words she texted me were "you did this to us because of your apathy."  When she said this, of course my response was "no I'm not, I love you deeply."  But now I understand that she was just projecting her feelings on me like she always did. I know there were times when I probably was apathetic. Those times when I was being devalued for the thousanth time. But overall I know that it wasnt me that destroyed us. I wanted to hold her close and love her, but her rages became more frequent. So I never knew what was going to happen.  And it doesn't make sense to me why I miss her so bad?  I know that this is part of the problem I had. Despite how she treated me, I would take her back or I wouldn't leave in the first place. I am just struggling today. Everything somehow reminds me of her and I miss her. The good side.

[WhoMe51]

I was sitting here thinking this morning about the last words she texted me were "you did this to us because of your apathy."  When she said this, of course my response was "no I'm not, I love you deeply."  But now I understand that she was just projecting her feelings on me like she always did. I know there were times when I probably was apathetic. Those times when I was being devalued for the thousanth time. But overall I know that it wasnt me that destroyed us. I wanted to hold her close and love her, but her rages became more frequent. So I never knew what was going to happen.  And it doesn't make sense to me why I miss her so bad?  I know that this is part of the problem I had. Despite how she treated me, I would take her back or I wouldn't leave in the first place. I am just struggling today. Everything somehow reminds me of her and I miss her. The good side.

[Aussie JJ]

If this helps,

The good side was when she was getting what she needed out of you, when she was happy because you were feeding her.  Do you want to be happy only when she is happy?  Should your happiness and emotions be dictated by a single persons emotional state?  Can you not be happy for something in your own life without it being devalued by someone else simply because it doesn't meet their emotional needs at that point in time?  What kind of existence did we all lead... .

My ex's line was "you no longer meet my emotional needs."  She could never communicate properly, always half arsed efforts, in other words this among other behaviours confirms she has a new 'transitional object.  To her, he isn't a partner, just an object that meets her needs. 

I, like you want to be more than an object to someone. 

I have to say the realisation that she will never be their for my emotional needs was an eye opener.  Be happy with yourself, be happy with your own place in this universe and the role that you play.  I can assure you, the nature of BPD dictates that your ex, like all of ours will never be able to be happy with their place.  They will only be happy with their next emotional caretaker for a predefined, short, restless period of time. 



And for the record, I still miss mine, I still long for her, I still want to save her, I still want to get all of those good times back and make them the rest of my & our life.  I just realise that it will never be.  Radical acceptance is a B!tC# however it will set you free. 

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=89910.0

[x1985x]

The last words mine spoke were... .

"Well... .we learned a lot from each other." Then she went to work and I moved out hours later. Six years living together, one sentence, one hug, one tear I saw her hiding. That's it. I, of course, being of much higher emotional intelligence decided to write her a nice letter to come home to, thanking her for everything she had ever done for me, wishing her the best life possible. No guilt, no pain, no finger pointing, only a loving exit. I didn't receive a letter, a text, an email, nothing. For her, I was yesterday's news, like tossing a magazine you've read a dozen times. Their minds baffle me.

Haven't seen her in three months and it's much better that way.

[Xstaticaddict]

And for the record, I still miss mine, I still long for her, I still want to save her, I still want to get all of those good times back and make them the rest of my & our life.  I just realise that it will never be.  Radical acceptance is a B!tC# however it will set you free. 

This is such a heartbreaking and anxious feeling for me. I have these thoughts daily and i catch myself grimacing in pain when i do and have to force myself to snap out of it. This is just such a bizarre thing to be going through. Knowing someone didn't love you or even know how to be good for you, but still wanting to be with them like a moth to a flame.

I feel like there's something in me that isn't me. This thing that must hate itself to constantly be reaching for the poison.

[camuse]

Mine were "I love you so much, you're the most amazing man I ever met. I can't imagine ever finding anyone like you - the thought of us not being friends makes me feel sick."

Days later she was in a new relationship.

Letting go of the meaningless words has been and still is hard for me. I took them at face value but they were nonsense.

[Infared]

And for the record, I still miss mine, I still long for her, I still want to save her, I still want to get all of those good times back and make them the rest of my & our life.  I just realise that it will never be.  Radical acceptance is a B!tC# however it will set you free. 

This is such a heartbreaking and anxious feeling for me. I have these thoughts daily and i catch myself grimacing in pain when i do and have to force myself to snap out of it. This is just such a bizarre thing to be going through. Knowing someone didn't love you or even know how to be good for you, but still wanting to be with them like a moth to a flame.

I feel like there's something in me that isn't me. This thing that must hate itself to constantly be reaching for the poison.

I just want to say that I so identify with both of you. It is such a painful and frustrating experience. It's devastating, "to us",

[woofhound]

Mine said "I demand a grand gesture or I f*ing walk."

I replied, "Is this tremendous pain not a grand enough gesture?"

Haven't heard a word since. Let it also be noted that she also said "I love you, Jason (my name which she rarely said for some reason) and i'm so glad you're my best friend.

A dmn shame.

[Infared]

Mine were "I love you so much, you're the most amazing man I ever met. I can't imagine ever finding anyone like you - the thought of us not being friends makes me feel sick."

Days later she was in a new relationship.

Letting go of the meaningless words has been and still is hard for me. I took them at face value but they were nonsense.

Are you sure it was "days later"?

My ex said the EXACT same words to me... .EXACT. But she was already in a relationship with someone else. My therapist told me that my ex was "just throwing me bones". Like to a dog. That's right.  (PwBPD are completely insane).

My ex was just saying those things to let me down easy. It made no sense to me then because she was denying that she was in another relationship. Of course.

My thought was, If I am the most amazing man you ever met, why are you going anywhere, I am right here?

It was all bull$h!t and smoke and mirrors. They will say anything to avoid tthe truth and their selfish behavior. ANYTHING.

[Infared]

Mine said "I demand a grand gesture or I f*ing walk."

I replied, "Is this tremendous pain not a grand enough gesture?"

Haven't heard a word since. Let it also be noted that she also said "I love you, Jason (my name which she rarely said for some reason) and i'm so glad you're my best friend.

A dmn shame.

"I love you, Jason (my name which she rarely said for some reason) and i'm so glad you're my best friend.

That is pwBPD code for "I am fu€king someone else."  You are supposed to understand the "code" by the way.   .?

[camuse]

Mine were "I love you so much, you're the most amazing man I ever met. I can't imagine ever finding anyone like you - the thought of us not being friends makes me feel sick."

Days later she was in a new relationship.

Letting go of the meaningless words has been and still is hard for me. I took them at face value but they were nonsense.

Are you sure it was "days later"?

My ex said the EXACT same words to me... .EXACT. But she was already in a relationship with someone else. My therapist told me that my ex was "just throwing me bones". Like to a dog. That's right.  (PwBPD are completely insane).

My ex was just saying those things to let me down easy. It made no sense to me then because she was denying that she was in another relationship. Of course.

My thought was, If I am the most amazing man you ever met, why are you going anywhere, I am right here?

It was all bull$h!t and smoke and mirrors. They will say anything to avoid tthe truth and their selfish behavior. ANYTHING.

If I had to put a bet on it, I would guess that she had the replacement lined up before our final split. we remained "friends" for two months, and she said these words, and the relationship was confirmed days later, but of course it's almost certain he had been around for weeks if not months already. they already knew each other, thats for sure.

We had sex just before I went NC - so I suspect she cheated on him with me that time. Also while we were friends i was about to get something from her room and she sliced her hand open in the manic dash to stop me opening the door. i guess he or evidence of him was in the room. This makes me feel sick too - she probably exposed me to potential STIs in doing so.

I cant believe a human being can behave like this with such total disregard for other people. i feel like sending the new guy a message telling him we were having sex at that time, but theres no point - shell deny it and use it to manipulate him further.

There were probably others too, I'm sure. I've been very stupid and naive. What did I do in a former life to deserve such a vile individual.

[pavilion]

I was sitting here thinking this morning about the last words she texted me were "you did this to us because of your apathy."  When she said this, of course my response was "no I'm not, I love you deeply."  But now I understand that she was just projecting her feelings on me like she always did. I know there were times when I probably was apathetic. Those times when I was being devalued for the thousanth time. But overall I know that it wasnt me that destroyed us. I wanted to hold her close and love her, but her rages became more frequent. So I never knew what was going to happen.  And it doesn't make sense to me why I miss her so bad?  I know that this is part of the problem I had. Despite how she treated me, I would take her back or I wouldn't leave in the first place. I am just struggling today. Everything somehow reminds me of her and I miss her. The good side.

I was accused of apathy too. How can you not become apathetic when it hurts too much to get close to them.

I am also struggling with the missing him like crazy despite knowing that it can only result in painful emotions. :-(

[Infared]

Mine were "I love you so much, you're the most amazing man I ever met. I can't imagine ever finding anyone like you - the thought of us not being friends makes me feel sick."

Days later she was in a new relationship.

Letting go of the meaningless words has been and still is hard for me. I took them at face value but they were nonsense.

Are you sure it was "days later"?

My ex said the EXACT same words to me... .EXACT. But she was already in a relationship with someone else. My therapist told me that my ex was "just throwing me bones". Like to a dog. That's right.  (PwBPD are completely insane).

My ex was just saying those things to let me down easy. It made no sense to me then because she was denying that she was in another relationship. Of course.

My thought was, If I am the most amazing man you ever met, why are you going anywhere, I am right here?

It was all bull$h!t and smoke and mirrors. They will say anything to avoid tthe truth and their selfish behavior. ANYTHING.

If I had to put a bet on it, I would guess that she had the replacement lined up before our final split. we remained "friends" for two months, and she said these words, and the relationship was confirmed days later, but of course it's almost certain he had been around for weeks if not months already. they already knew each other, thats for sure.

We had sex just before I went NC - so I suspect she cheated on him with me that time. Also while we were friends i was about to get something from her room and she sliced her hand open in the manic dash to stop me opening the door. i guess he or evidence of him was in the room. This makes me feel sick too - she probably exposed me to potential STIs in doing so.

I cant believe a human being can behave like this with such total disregard for other people. i feel like sending the new guy a message telling him we were having sex at that time, but theres no point - shell deny it and use it to manipulate him further.

There were probably others too, I'm sure. I've been very stupid and naive. What did I do in a former life to deserve such a vile individual.

I feel for you. I was treated the same way and told lie after lie. Makes me wonder about all the things she was doing that I didn't catch her in, too. They go thru decent people's lives like tornadoes, leaving destruction everywhere.

[woofhound]

I feel for you. I was treated the same way and told lie after lie. Makes me wonder about all the things she was doing that I didn't catch her in, too. They go thru decent people's lives like tornadoes, leaving destruction everywhere.[/quote]
Move away, move away phantom,

Run away, terrified child

Won't you, go way you F*ing tornado,

I'm better off without you tearing my world down 

[Ihope2]

Amongs the last words he said to me, face to face, were:  the bullet that goes through my brain will have your name written on it.

Nice, isn't it?  Let's ratchet up the drama and threats of suicide to the ultimate level.  I was beside myself with anxiety and malaise and distress, but I don't think he could see it.  I went to the bedroom, sat on the bed and cried.  Then I got up, washed my face, and dropped him off in my car on the freeway with his backpack for him to hitch a ride to where ever he was intending to stay next.

That was late March 2014 and the last time I saw him. 

We are since divorced.

My last words to him face to face were -  "No, I don't hate you, XYZ".

[sherlock3]

Last words in person after I picked her up from bus depot after getting  out of psych hospital for od. "You just put the last nail in the coffin". I dont remember what I said prior to her saying that. Probably nothing.

[levelup]

"In pursuing this divorce, you have shown me over and over again, and consistently over time, that you believe the main fault lies with me, that you want to be free from someone (or something) that you could make you feel unsafe. 

Well I believe that God has called you to be in a relationship with me, and to receive me in my faults, and have grace for me, and have faith in God to sustain you, but you chose a different way. And I believe that you have to deal with the ramifications of that choice. "

Let's see the faulty logic here:

1) Filing for divorce means I think it's all your fault... .even though I've consistently said that I'm willing to do whatever counseling/programs/etc. you think I need to do to become a better husband.

2) It is wrong to want to be away from someone (or something unsafe).  I should also feel insulted/shamed for having this pointed out to me.

3) Having faith in God to sustain me and grace for you means I have to accept being in an unsafe relationship, because... .um... .  What does  God expect from you?... .To openly receive grace and... .um... .

4) ":)eal with the ramifications."  Words are not really threatening if they're deliberately vague.

[MrFox]

The last words she said face to face to me : "I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have a man like you.  I love you."

The last words she said via text:  "I hope you f**king die."