BPD's attract NPD's... self diagnosis 101

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NPD.

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

3. Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high- status people (or institutions).

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.

6. Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.

7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.


1)  I know im better than many people at different things however recognise those that are more knowledgable than me.  I have trouble trying to pin this on myself, I think in some instances it is applicable, at work however I work with some very stupid people in my department and we are surrounded by very intelligent people that we cater to.  If I was one of the staff from another department I would view someone performing my role as stupid.  So I don't think I fit in here... .  personally I know I am far from perfect. 

2)  unlimited power or success isn't a issue.  I do feel recently that with exBPD I have been fantasizing about ideal love.  I don't know if this counts?  I have also been having nightmares about some of the abusive behaviours that occurred.  Bit of a catch22 here. 

3)  well, I know I'm far from being perfect, I'm looking at moving to a less prestigious job for work life balance and I'm looking forward to it.  Well, more responsibility however the client is unknown on a global scale where as the current client I work at is known globally.  I didnt have a huge amount of choice here the decision got made for me however im happy for it?  Go figure. 

4)  I don't know about admiration, validation is something I'm needing a lot at the moment.  Basically being invalidated with everything for so long I question myself constantly and I'm learning to self validate.  I haven't got it from many others in my life so have to learn to do it myself. 

5)  This made me laugh, I have rolled over for so long now I am asking for and expecting to get what I ask for.  I don't know if this is a sense of entitlement or setting boundarys and no longer being a doormat. 

6)  I think I have been at times.  Unsure of this one.  I haven't been able to see myself triangulating situations or any of those behaviours, I don't know.  I know at work I have had to be expoitive at times to get a shift filled in the past or what not when rostering however I always made sure I paid the favours back.  I never expected it to be a one way street.  Undecided however only because I think I have been exploited at times in personal / profesional life and don't know or understand fully what role I played in this. 

7)  I have to much empathy for others and not enough for myself.  I have been a doormat for a long time. 

8)  No, I was guilty of this with exBPD gf as it was so perfect and we were so good for each other.  Now I see it for what it is and I don't envy her or believe anyone should envy either of us. 

9)  I have been at times, it is a defence mechanism I have where pushed into a corner or in a stressful situation ill be very arrogant and just go forward not caring about those around me only task orientated.  Either get out of the situation or lets solve it my way. 


I can sort of apply #1 to myself to an extent, I think that has been their for a fair while.  #2, #4, #5 and #9 I can apply on a 50/50 scale.  They do exist in part or they have been their at some time.  So I have some narc traits.  I have gone through this a lot more in the last week and a bit.  A few days ago I thought with validation and boundarys (#4, #5) if these count as having these traits 100 % and I got really concerned.  I can see when I'm not setting boundarys of love or upholding them with compassion like in SWOE and a few others and I have to step back and work through it again.  So these I think I am learning how to implement properly so I am going over the top at the moment.  Validation I'm like a  patient at a hospital on the morphine drip with this forum at present.  When not posting, practising validating with others posts or reflecting by reading through stuff I am at a bit of a loss.  At present basically I am depressed to a large extent and working through It all with this and other resources to get that feedback, validation.  At the moment I need it a huge amount, in the past I have never understood these issues and just accepted it as the norm. 

So, do you have narc traits?  The dsm5 is a bit different and their are subtypes from milton etc however as a broad thing I was looking back at the narcasistic wound stuff from a few posts and understanding how it applies to me.  Naturally then I'm asking if I'm a narcissistic type with my personality.  I think some of it is there, I don't think it always has been for some of the traits nor for some I'm identifying with at present.  I think working through it I'm pretty stable however my defence mechanisms for conflict are not really developed properly.   

Now to find a list for co-dependency and work through that again and see where I'm at!  Feel free to post your thoughts on this topic.  Helps me see where I'm at now I'm comparison to 2 weeks or even 2 months ago. 

[Aussie JJ]

NPD.

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

3. Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high- status people (or institutions).

4. Requires excessive admiration.

5. Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.

6. Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.

7. Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.


1)  I know im better than many people at different things however recognise those that are more knowledgable than me.  I have trouble trying to pin this on myself, I think in some instances it is applicable, at work however I work with some very stupid people in my department and we are surrounded by very intelligent people that we cater to.  If I was one of the staff from another department I would view someone performing my role as stupid.  So I don't think I fit in here... .  personally I know I am far from perfect. 

2)  unlimited power or success isn't a issue.  I do feel recently that with exBPD I have been fantasizing about ideal love.  I don't know if this counts?  I have also been having nightmares about some of the abusive behaviours that occurred.  Bit of a catch22 here. 

3)  well, I know I'm far from being perfect, I'm looking at moving to a less prestigious job for work life balance and I'm looking forward to it.  Well, more responsibility however the client is unknown on a global scale where as the current client I work at is known globally.  I didnt have a huge amount of choice here the decision got made for me however im happy for it?  Go figure. 

4)  I don't know about admiration, validation is something I'm needing a lot at the moment.  Basically being invalidated with everything for so long I question myself constantly and I'm learning to self validate.  I haven't got it from many others in my life so have to learn to do it myself. 

5)  This made me laugh, I have rolled over for so long now I am asking for and expecting to get what I ask for.  I don't know if this is a sense of entitlement or setting boundarys and no longer being a doormat. 

6)  I think I have been at times.  Unsure of this one.  I haven't been able to see myself triangulating situations or any of those behaviours, I don't know.  I know at work I have had to be expoitive at times to get a shift filled in the past or what not when rostering however I always made sure I paid the favours back.  I never expected it to be a one way street.  Undecided however only because I think I have been exploited at times in personal / profesional life and don't know or understand fully what role I played in this. 

7)  I have to much empathy for others and not enough for myself.  I have been a doormat for a long time. 

8)  No, I was guilty of this with exBPD gf as it was so perfect and we were so good for each other.  Now I see it for what it is and I don't envy her or believe anyone should envy either of us. 

9)  I have been at times, it is a defence mechanism I have where pushed into a corner or in a stressful situation ill be very arrogant and just go forward not caring about those around me only task orientated.  Either get out of the situation or lets solve it my way. 


I can sort of apply #1 to myself to an extent, I think that has been their for a fair while.  #2, #4, #5 and #9 I can apply on a 50/50 scale.  They do exist in part or they have been their at some time.  So I have some narc traits.  I have gone through this a lot more in the last week and a bit.  A few days ago I thought with validation and boundarys (#4, #5) if these count as having these traits 100 % and I got really concerned.  I can see when I'm not setting boundarys of love or upholding them with compassion like in SWOE and a few others and I have to step back and work through it again.  So these I think I am learning how to implement properly so I am going over the top at the moment.  Validation I'm like a  patient at a hospital on the morphine drip with this forum at present.  When not posting, practising validating with others posts or reflecting by reading through stuff I am at a bit of a loss.  At present basically I am depressed to a large extent and working through It all with this and other resources to get that feedback, validation.  At the moment I need it a huge amount, in the past I have never understood these issues and just accepted it as the norm. 

So, do you have narc traits?  The dsm5 is a bit different and their are subtypes from milton etc however as a broad thing I was looking back at the narcasistic wound stuff from a few posts and understanding how it applies to me.  Naturally then I'm asking if I'm a narcissistic type with my personality.  I think some of it is there, I don't think it always has been for some of the traits nor for some I'm identifying with at present.  I think working through it I'm pretty stable however my defence mechanisms for conflict are not really developed properly.   

Now to find a list for co-dependency and work through that again and see where I'm at!  Feel free to post your thoughts on this topic.  Helps me see where I'm at now I'm comparison to 2 weeks or even 2 months ago.